30 before 30, bill simmons, children, Easter, Easter Bunny, family, fans, fun, holiday, humor, kids, life, lists, Random Thoughts
Despite the later than normal arrival of Easter this year, the egg-dyeing Holiday seemed to sneak up on me anyway. With just days before cellophane grass was scheduled to take over our home, Jen and I decided to take Iz and the Jakester to the mall for a visit with the Easter Bunny.
The concept of parading out the figurehead of a holiday, such as Santa Claus at Christmas or a giant Bunny at Easter, is no new thing. Malls have been cashing in on this annual ritual for years and, quite frankly, I can’t blame them. As long as parents like us continue to roll our children through the assembly line of lap-sitting in order to get a glossy 8×10 of them screaming in terror, why not make a little money off of it right? I’m actually somewhat surprised that the local malls haven’t found a way to exploit all the major holidays. Perhaps a creep old witch at Halloween or a giant, gobbling turkey at Thanksgiving. I mean the possibilities are endless!
Anyway, as we are not the kind of parents to buck the system, we headed to the mall on Wednesday night for our obligatory photo session with the rabbit. At Christmas time, we took the kids to meet Santa and, as you might imagine, it didn’t go so well. Jen had to sit with the kids and Santa (which I’m sure he enjoyed) in order to keep Izzy from hyperventilating. Despite the everyday chaos of raising two little munchkins, I am still able to remember moments like that so I was not exactly optimistic for this go around.
The line of parents and children stretched about 100 yards from the gate marking the entrance to Bunnyland. My Mom met us at the mall and helped to keep the kids occupied during the hour or so wait. One by one, parents led their kids into the arms of the furry, 6-foot hare. If I had to guess, I would say it was about an even split as far as kids who enjoyed the meet and greet and those whose dreams will be haunted for weeks to come.
Izzy looked longingly at the cotton-tailed holiday mascot as we patiently waited our turn. Her interest in the Bunny gave me a brief moment of excitement that perhaps this would be a pleasant experience. Finally, we made our way to the front of the line. The young girl ahead of us was being placed on the tear-soaked lap when she began to cry as well. I caught a glimpse of her father and thanks to our unspoken bond of fatherhood, felt his pain. Izzy seemed to be feeling the little girl’s pain as well as her attitude quickly changed from outgoing and excited to thumb-sucking introvert. It was our turn. It was go time.
Jen held Jake in one hand and walked Izzy up with the other and before they were close enough to smell the PAAS-dipped eggs that surrounded the bunny’s throne, the tears began to fall. In a surprise turn of events though, while Izzy bawled at the sight of the giant animal, Jake giggled with glee and waved his arms about as if he had just taken a big poop. I will neither confirm, nor deny that a poop occurred at that moment. Meanwhile, Jen was doing her best to get Iz to calm down but it wasn’t working. It took the promise of a lollipop to shut off the waterworks for a few moments in order to snap a picture, then it back into the arms of mommy and away from the hairy beast.
All in all, I would say it pretty much went according to script. But hey, its tradition right? And now…onto this week’s Follow-Up Friday updates.
#1-3: Weekly Stats:
- Miles Run: 4
- Pushups: 150
- Situps: 100
- Random Ipod Song: “Sick and Tired” by Default
So this week’s trip to Cape Cod threw off my training schedule just a bit. Or at least that’s the excuse I’m going with to explain my lack of running. Truth is, I really just mailed it in this week and that is unacceptable. You deserve better, loyal followers, and I will be better next week!
#7: DONE! As mentioned in my post on Wednesday, we had a wicked awesome time at Fenway Park on Monday. It was great to visit such a historical sports landmark and get a big one crossed off the list. Go Progress!
#13: After a brutal start to the book in which I contemplated changing my list to a “29 Before 30”, Tolstoy has finally hooked me. I’m about 200 pages in, which is still only about 25%, but it’s getting good. I need to increase either the number of pages per sitting or the number of times in a week that I read however if I intend to complete this book before my birthday.
#20: No official progress to report here other than the fact that I have been put in contact with Bill Simmons’ agent. Whether he will respond to my requests or simply slap a restraining order on me is still up in the air. I’ll keep you posted.
That’s it for this week’s updates. Remember to tell as many people as you can about my list so that I might be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Keep sending in tattoo ideas and leave me comments on my “Lil help Please” page if you have some info for me. Thanks for reading and have a great Holiday!
The Good Greatsby said:
I’m sure some day there will be a figurehead for Thanksgiving, some sort of giant pilgrim who brings turkeys and eventually ruins the holiday.
Hahaha… this post was too funny. I don’t know who has it worse for those mall outings: the kids, the parents, or the poor saps suckered into dressing up like a bunny for the day. 🙂
I can’t argue with that. I do feel bad for those people in the costumes. All day long, crying kid after crying kid being placed on your lap. Yikes!
I’m doing Karaoke this weekend…
Random factoid: did you know that PAAS is based on the Dutch word passen which means Easter?
Sandi Ormsby said:
You know, I’ve never forced my kids to take pictures of them with creatures. First, my husband and I don’t want to wait in that long line, and pay outrageous fees for my child to refuse to sit with them…and not have that great of a picture. I hate the mall.
We instead, had some photos from the local bar, the owner would dress up as Santa, and would have raffles for the customers who brought unwrapped gifts for the children’s hospital. then, he’d sit with the kids (as Santa) and take family photos. So we have a couple of polaroids with my son and Santa with a neon beer sign behind us! (nice!) 🙂 We’re so sad the owner retired and sold the bar!
I’ll have to see if I can find those polaroids for Xmas time! 🙂
Bill Simmons said:
Here is my obligatory ‘fat chance’ reply.
Ah, Fake Bill Simmons. I was wondering where you were. Hadn’t heard your snarky, pessimistic comments for awhile. Nice to have you back!
Bill Simmons said:
The family has been battling coughs and sneezes and the other ailments that make their way home from day care. I’ve taken a break from blogging and just pop in here every once in a while to snark away.
Which translation are you reading? I thought I’d join you in tackling Tolstoy’s tome, since it’s on my “missed 30 by YEARS, but one of these days, really” list. When I went to download it to my kindle, many reviewers were sniveling about various bad translatons. So I downloaded Pat Conroy instead 🙂
I have heard that there are numerous poor translations out there. I don’t have the book in front of me and all those russian names sound similar to me so I don’t recall who did it. My aunt researched it and told me this one is award winning and considered the best. I’ll let you know when I take a look at it.
Tori Nelson said:
Ew, the Easter Bunny dude at our mall is always such a creeper. Glad you and the munchkins survived!
The mall at the town where I used to live holds Trick or Treating in the mall every year, including pictures with costumed characters. 😉
Well there you go! Our mall does the trick or treat thing too, but no characters to take pictures with. How ’bout a 6 foot Punxsutawney Phil for Groundhog’s Day!
(Apparently that’s what Jake thinks)