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After graciously allowing me to hijack his blog for a day a couple of weeks ago, The Idiot surfaces again, this time to exact his revenge.  Ok, maybe that’s a little over the top.  Really, he’s just here to tell a little story and most likely make you chuckle.  I hope you had a chance to visit Mark at The Idiot Speaketh back when I was waxing poetic on his page but if not, here’s another opportunity to enjoy his writing.  And now…The Idiot.


Hello everyone, My name is Mark and I am the “Idiot” behind the blog “The Idiot Speaketh”. Jim was gracious enough to allow me to post a guest blog on his site, so I will be hijacking his blog for the day.
My blog is primarily a humor blog, so it was my natural tendency to want to write about the little known fact that Jim and I actually have known each other for the better part of fifteen years. Sworn to secrecy all these years, I was ordered to never discuss, or even worse, never write about, THE INCIDENT involving the time in 1996 when I found myself working as a Nurse in a Maryland Juvenile Detention facility.

One night, two male teens were brought into our facility for processing. One of the boys was so inebriated that he was passed out cold. This boy was almost completely nude aside from a Speedo and a homemade Baltimore Orioles mascot head that covered most his upper body. The poor guy had also been spray painted from head to toe in bright orange and black paint. These youths had apparently gotten the drunken idea of having this painted naked youth run out on to the field of an Orioles game against the hated New York Yankees during a Nationally-Televised game on a Saturday Afternoon. This passed-out drunken birdman laying in our facility was, of course, Jim.

Little did poor Jim realize at the time, but he was not actually at the Orioles game when he charged out onto the field. He and his drunken co-conspirator had instead found themselves at a Women’s Senior League slow-pitch Softball game for elderly ladies over the age of 80 that were afflicted with Alzheimer’s. The results of Jim’s drunken nearly-nude rampage around the field was that seven elderly softball players had to be transported to local hospitals suffering from shock, a few had minor cerebrovascular incidents, and one poor lady had a mild heart attack. Jim made me swear to never discuss this incident in all the years since then that I have known him, so I will follow his wishes and will not detail it any further here.
On to more serious matters…. The idea of Jim’s blog being based on the concept of 30 things he wanted to accomplish before the age of 30 is quite genius. I seriously hope that Jim will soon change his blog title to “60 before 60” or some number even higher, because he and his family still have lots of living ahead of them. Putting your “Wish List” of things you want to do, for all to see, on a blog is a great idea. The fact is that we all have things we hope to do and experience in life. Few people ever consciously set out to try to accomplish them all. For various reasons, most of us come up with excuses for why we cannot chase those goals. Putting your list on a blog is a great motivational tool to remind yourself of those goals you are still chasing. The most important thing to remember is that you need to start chasing those goals TODAY because you never really know what tomorrow will bring.

I am forty-six and have been disabled for the past 12 years. One day I was living a perfectly normal life, the next I was disabled. I had always had an internal list of things I would like to do in life, and places I would like to visit, but I had not set about tackling that list before I got hurt. Now, many of those things that I wished to do are forever out of my reach. Like I said, you never know what might happen to you. So, I urge you…. Do as Jim has done. Make out a list, share it with loved ones, and most important….stop making excuses and start tackling that list today! I wish Jim well as his “to-do” list hopefully grows a lot larger than 30 items. Thanks Jim for letting me borrow your blog. Good luck on everything you tackle in the future!