Today, my little blog turns one. I still remember that nervous feeling all parents have in their gut right before the birth. I remember the debates over what name to give it and I’ll never forget its first words…and comments. I sit here today a proud papa, and couldn’t be more excited to see what the next year will bring.
Like any parent though, I find myself as anxious as I am excited. You see, lately my blog has been talking back, ignoring my requests to help out around the house, and surfing the internet way too much. I’m not sure what the ratio is of blog years to human years, but I have to assume its something like 15 to 1 because its acting like a “the world doesn’t understand me so I’m going to listen to loud music, ignore my father, and wear black eye shadow” teenager. When I asked how it felt to be one, it replied, “Just leave me alone, I don’t want to talk about it.”
I suppose I have only myself to blame for this behavior. For most of this past year, I’ve been avoiding my own milestone birthday that is rapidly approaching. When asked if I was excited about turning 30, I’d reply with, “I don’t know what you’re talking about” or “I no hablan Ingles” and simply walk away. My bad habits have trickled down to my young, impressionable blog and that’s just poor parenting on my part.
Many of you have asked about what to get my blog as a present for turning one. I relayed your inquiries to it but received only a high-pitch, consistent, humming sound which I’ll assume means my computer is about to implode. Anyway, since my blog is currently refusing to answer any questions directed towards it, I’m going to suggest some gifts that I think it would like. I assure you it is merely a coincidence that these suggestions seem to directly benefit me…merely a coincidence…I swear.
1) A New House: Words that have been used to describe our current abode include; “quaint”, “homey”, and “falling apart“. I understand this is a fairly pricey gift for one person to manage. I suggest all of you pulling your resources together and maybe reaching out to some people who are, you know, rich, in order to help you out. I don’t want to micro-manage you here so however you’d like to handle it is fine with me. Just let us know the new address once the details have been ironed out.
2) A Spot On Freshly Pressed: I suppose it’s a bit greedy to ask for something that we’ve received before, but there’s selflessness at work here. You see I’m only thinking of my blog and ways to cheer it up. It’s been so grumpy about the whole birthday thing, I figured a nice surprise party on Freshly Pressed would be just the thing to lift its spirits. I’m looking at you, WordPress employees! Wink, wink.
3) A Visit From Bill Simmons: I know it hasn’t worked out for me, but don’t destroy a young blog’s dream Bill. It’s been talking about you for months and always asks me if you’ll drop by sometime. I’m not sure how many more times I can tell it that you have to work late. Friends of the blog have tried to reach out to you as well, but to no avail. Do the right thing, Bill…do the right thing.
Ok, I’m not actually expecting any of the above ideas to pan out…though the house thing would be really nice (just throwing it out there). All joking aside, there is one gift idea that would mean a lot to my blog and me:
4) Share Us With A Friend: I don’t do much in the way of marketing my blog. It’s just a little guy, I don’t want to over-expose it like those poor little girls from Toddlers and Tiaras (not that I watch that or anything…). No, this blog’s following has grown almost solely because you, loyal readers, have championed the cause. In the course of a year, readership has grown nearly 34%, which is better way of saying we’ve gone from 6 subscribers to 8, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the constant barrage of support and encouragement.
Now, as we enter the 2nd year of me subjecting you to my somewhat humorous ramblings, I ask only that you continue to spread the word. Choose a friend, family member, co-worker, parole officer, therapist, or imaginary pet unicorn, and send them a link to The Wordslinger. Tell them how much you’ve enjoyed the 5-minute breaks from reality that I provide you on a fairly regular basis. Tell them how much fun you have hearing stories of Iz and The Jakester, and how creative I can be with writing prompts. Or tell them the truth…I’m a sad little man, desperate for popularity and you felt sorry for me. Either way, let’s get them signed up!
The year ahead is bound to be full of moments, events, and stories worth sharing and I promise to bring them to you through this magical world wide web. I’ll do my best to keep you entertained along the way and I’m sure you will do the same with your comments. And let’s not forget the updates coming your way of The Wordslinger’s very first novel (how’s that for a teaser?). So grab a friend and I’ll see you back here soon!