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babies, baby names, children, family, humor, Jim Chaney, life, March Madness, parenting, pregnancy, The Wordslinger
As the wife and I (but mainly the wife) reach halftime of pregnancy #3, I thought an update might be in order. 20 weeks down, 20 more to go. Based on results from the first two matchups, I don’t expect this to go to overtime. There’s no doubt that Mommy showed up ready to play, but as the half wore on, she seemed to tire and even had to fight off a few bouts of nausea. The plan is to hydrate feverishly here at halftime and throughout the second half in an attempt to negate the effects of the impending summer heat. It’ll be a grueling final 20 weeks, requiring stamina and endurance that I (a two-time marathoner) simply do not have. But my wife is strong. She’s been here before. So buckle up for an exciting second half!
(This extremely long basketball metaphor, which ran its course at least 45 words ago, was brought to you by “March Madness”, one of this sports fan’s favorite times of the year.)
Now back to reality. Jen and I just had our 20 week ultrasound last Thursday and the baby is shaping up nicely. 10 fingers, 10 toes, and all those other important things that my wife (a NICU nurse) was relieved to find were all normal. For those wondering the big question…no, we didn’t find out the sex of the baby. With our first pregnancy, we elected to go the surprise route and I thoroughly enjoyed that moment when I burst through the waiting rooms door to declare to our families, “It’s a girl!”
The second time around, we gave in to our curiosity and chose to find that our little Jakester was on the way. Now, with one of each, we’re going back to being surprised and so you, loyal reader, will just have to be patient like the rest of us. For those willing to stick it out with us, I’ll be providing a little fun along the way in the form of a “baby pool”. No, not the inflatable kind that my wife will likely spend most of the summer sitting in. I’m talking about the gambling kind. No money involved though, just a friendly guessing game in categories such as sex, date of delivery, time, length, weight, etc. I’ll post details and a link to the pool once I’ve set it up, probably by my next post.
While waiting until the actual birth is both nostalgic and exciting, it also poses a bit of a problem for us. Not knowing means we have to come up with a name for both a boy and a girl in order to be prepared for the little munchkin upon arrival. Why is this a problem, you ask? Because we can’t seem to agree on a girl’s name. If, upon delivery, we are graced with the presence of a tiny twig and berries, we are good to go. We’ve had a boy’s name picked out since Jake was born and no, I’m not going to tell you what it is. You’ll just have to wait on that as well.
With no clear-cut favorite in the girl category however, we’ve taken to books and websites in the hopes of finding something that jumps off the page. Believe me when I say we’ve found plenty that do that, just not for the reasons we hoped. Here are some of the best (or worst) possibilities.
Abina: Considering the name means “She was born on a Thursday”, we’re pretty pigeon-holed with this one.
LinnÄ©a: I found this listed under “Unique Baby Names”. No kidding. I don’t even know how to pronounce it; it has a freakin’ copyright symbol in it!
America: Destined to be powerful, patriotic, bad with money, and likely unemployed. Hmm…we’ll consider this one a “maybe”.
La-a: This is one of my favorites, mainly because the punctuation found within it finally gets its time to shine. You’ve seen plenty of names with apostrophes, but rarely, if ever, are they pronounced. This name however, pronounced “La-dash-a”, gives a proper shout-out to a often-used but rarely respected punctuation mark.
&: I just made this one up because based on some of the names I’ve seen, it’s perfectly acceptable to do so. It will be written as the symbol “&”, but spoken as the word “Ampersand”. Take that Grammar Police!
Female: Here’s an example of the disturbing trend of parents naming their children after everyday words, occurrences, or inanimate objects, but changing the pronunciation to justify it as a name. In this case, the word female is pronounced “Feh-Mall-ee” and suddenly, instead of a basic noun, it’s a little girl on the swings at the playground. Other examples of this trend include:
Grain: Pronounced “Gray-anne” Tree: Pronounced “Tre'” Adrenaline: Pronounced “A-Dra-Nee-Lynn” with emphasis on the 3rd syllableN/A: Not Applicable? Really? This was found on a list of rarely used baby names. When I looked into what classified a name as “rarely used”, the website stated, “found on between 25 and 50 birth certificates in a given year.” Ok, so that means that the name N/A was found on at least 25 birth certificates! Found on the same list were:
Chevy: But not Ford, Saab, or Lexus. Weird. Cuba: Like the country Wednesday: Like the day of the week Alaska: Like the state Virgin: Like the…wait, what? Virgin? C’mon folks! Update: Freshly Pressed 3/29!! Thanks to all who have commented. Keep them coming, they’re great to read. I will be responding very shortly to as many as I possibly can. You guys are great and thanks for the feedback!
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Hmm it looks like your site ate my first comment (it was
extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any recommendations for novice blog writers? I’d
certainly appreciate it.
I love the name Wednesday and will be naming my unborn daughter that!
and people say my sons name is bad…its Bentley. lol. these are ridiculous!
My niece, when pregnant, (so I couldn’t even laugh at her) told me if it was a girl she was thinking of naming her child “Beige”. Yep. A color. Not even a snazzy color like Magenta, or Shocking Yellow, she liked the sound of “Beige”. I kind of stumbled over it, saying “Uh, Beige? Like, you know, skin tone?” To which she enthusiastically answered “Yes! That’s it!” ~ Thank GOD she had a boy. Named him a perfectly reasonable manly name not resembling any color or body part or anything.
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Reblogged this on tommuellerbooks and commented:
This is pretty funny people. There are some crazy baby names floating around out there.
Funny stuff. My wife and I just had our 20 week ultrasound last week, and we just couldn’t wait to know the gender. I admire your perseverance or patience or whatever it is:-). Thanks for the laughs. Someday I ‘ll have to write on some of the craziest names I’ve heard in China. Names like, Seven.
Adding to the ever growing list of unusual names (not saying these are horrible, just different)…
Neat
Liberty (she dated a guy named Kelly)
Johnna
Stone
Rip
Woodfin (don’t know him, maybe its a family name)
Ransom
My friend in high school is named “I Am”. Yes, at first I couldn’t believe that it’s her name because her family name is “Suerte” or when translated in English her family name is “Lucky” therefore her complete name when translated in English, is I Am Lucky. That’s really cool because all of our classmates think that she indeed was lucky. She won many contests and became a part of the student government though she was new at school. But yeah, I guess, hers was a cool name. On the other hand, we named my nephew “Arclovin” supposedly Arch Lovin. Everyone also thinks that it is unique. Of course it is because we changed the spelling from ARCH to arc and then added the last two letters from his grandfather’s name ( ‘lo) and the last 3 letters of his father’s name.
Ma. Chelsea
Janella Mariz
Haydee Liezel
Sheena Male
Franz dion
Mavin Coe
Ares john
Girls: shanaia Len
Ericka krisha
Ma. Kristina
Jenna Mae
Janna Althea
Boys: Earl kervin
Lance Arruz
How about?
Girls: shanaia Len
Ericka krisha
Ma. Kristina
Jenna Mae
Janna Althea
Boys: Earl kervin
Lance Arruz
I don’t care….coolest “celebrity kiddie” name….ever – “Kal-El”!
You rock Nick Cage!
T..
Nic Cage does rock. Crazy Nic Cage!
La-a kills me. My old coworker had a child with that name in her class. We used to joke about her getting a teacher who referred to her as La-hyphen-a. *sigh
🙂
Ha ha ha – amazing. There should be a law about terrible names – like in France. Vive la France!
I’ve been thinking. What if La-a meets up with a Clo~?
Hahaha! You guys are too much!
Honestly it’s shocking the names people are coming up with these days! They should have mercy on the kids for crying out loud!
Good luck finding a decent girl’s name!
Surely, some people should not be allowed to name babies, haha.
The best name for me is Adonis for boy or Ramona for girls.
Now this is funny. Names these days are definitely out of control. blue and yellow and pink etc are crayolas not names.
I couldnt go through all of your comments! Someone must have posted this on your blog. But here is goes..
Illegal baby names – Fish and Chips, Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 ( Swedish baby was names), @ (Chinese baby) and few more
http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/blogs/yahoo-lifestyles/10-illegal-baby-names-194006397-3.html
Have fun… 🙂 And congrats on the baby!
As lovely as Ampersand is, you can’t forget good old Tilde, Asterix and Ellipsis. Lets just hope I never have twins, the 2nd to be born will be Ditto.
I would totally name my child &. That would be AWESOME. Anyway, the prettiest girl name I’ve heard lately that I thought was unique without being too outlandish was Della. Good luck!
I’m clearly not running with the right crowd. The weirdest names I’ve ever come across, other than weird celebrity kid names like Pilot Inspektor and Apple, is Superstarr.
It’s worth considering – he or she will never have a problem with confidence. 🙂
http://troismommy.wordpress.com/2012/04/03/our-weekend-with-the-stars/
I don’t speak english very well and I don’t understan every word…In Italy, a famous man gives a him son a terrible name: Natanfalco
What?
Natanfalco???
what a fuck?
Nice, so the twitter handle & nick-name of that guy is legitimately WTF 🙂
name is the foundation of a baby’s sexuality.. as he grows up, his friends might call him a lot of pseudo names however if the name he has sounds nice and very meaningful, it somehow boost his self-confidence..congratulation anyway for the new member of your family..
Lionel Wyatt
lionelwyatt184@gmail.com
http://log-bookloans.co.uk/
This article has definitely taken on a life of its own. 🙂 Congratulations on finally getting OFF Freshly Pressed. And best wishes for all those ten fingers, ten toes, strong heartbeat, etc.
Haha, thanks! It was almost a relief to see if off the front page so maybe I can start replying to some comments. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! Always appreciated.
My brother is an anesthesiologist in downtown Detroit and attends many births. He has regaled our family with crazy baby name stories for years. My personal fave? “ABCDE” all caps. Pronounced “AB-cee-dee”. Why do parents curse their children (and school teachers) like that?!? Great post! Congrats
Oh in addition i have a 7 month old son and i wanted to name him: “GSP3000” Short for George Saint Pierre (the UFC fighter) with a number in the name (like Andre 3000). To me thats original but unfortunately my wife wouldn’t have any part of it.
As me & wife waited for the delivery of surprise package from god about six years back, we were wishing for a girl and had finalized the name Meera (Origin: Sanskrit, Means “sea, ocean” in Sanskrit. This was the name of a 16th-century Indian princess who devoted her life to the God.)
We were calling the baby Meera in our conversations before the final day when god surprised us with a baby boy. We were a bit surprised but we promptly named him Kabir (The name Kabir comes from Arabic al-Kabīr which means ‘The Great’ – the 37th name of God in Islam. Kabir a 15th century north Indian mystic poet ranks among the world’s greatest poets. In India, he is perhaps the most quoted author)
Meera arrived a couple of years later to complete our family.
I hope kids don’t tease your daughter by calling her “Meerkat”.
Ha ha ha, I hope not, fortunately meerkat is not a well known word here in India. I use to call her Meercute when she was tiny, not anymore :-). Kids grow up so fast http://wp.me/pnx59-bT
Love the blog, takes me back to the the movie “Meet the Fockers” – can someone tell me what would persuade parents to name their son “Gaylord”, I actually know of a Mt Thaggard whose first name is Gaylord – I do hope he is not reading this.
you forgot lemonjello and cherryjello pronounced La-monj-ello and Sherryjello. and please don’t get me started on Anferny…the people who did not ask that woman if she meant ANTHONY should be fired from her position.
True story: We once had a waitress whose name badge read “SHITHEAD”… which, she explained, is pronounced shuh-theed.
ha, ha! Check out the names of south indians they have a avg name of 16 letters!
http://imockatbullshit.wordpress.com/(here u won’t find any name but witty articles!)
Haha, that’s comical. Creativity and good creativity are definitely different things. Congratulations!
Haha! Loved this post! When I saw the title I immediately thought of Andre 3000 & Erika Badu’s child they so cleverly named “seven”. I feel bad for these children with those crazy kind of names. I know that I would certainly change mine if it was an inanimate object (Apple – Chris Martin) or color (blue – Beyonce & Jay-Z).
i’m just thankful my name is normal – Nicole. boring. plain & simple.
Super cute post. Loved your opening. Clever and cute!
“Lulu Does The Hulu In Hawaii” was what a New Zealand couple almost named their daughter.
Why…why do we have such uninspired and implicitly cruel people like that (worst of all, parents) in the world?
La-a is one I’ve heard before! Along with Ta-a. Good luck choosing a name!
Hahaha, “&” – I think you should go with it!
No one else remembers the Cagney and Lacey episode where the prostitute’s name was Female, also pronounced feh-mah-lee? IIRC, she got the name because mom was too stoned to care, so they left “female” on the birth certificate.
Meanwhile, the nearly infamous XKCD has another list of another less than desirable candidate names for a girl: http://xkcd.com/1011/
Some of the “unique” names are just insane, with more thought given to the parents’ desires than about the child. BUT. Sometimes unique names are very thoughtful. My girls are named Breathe (like you breathe oxygen) and Alight. I am a type A person, always trying to be perfect (no such thing, I know) and, for my first daughter, Breathe, I wanted something that would remind her that it’s okay to stop and just breathe, that you don’t have to be productive every moment of every day to be really “living.” Alight was the direct answer to a prayer, and I wanted something with the word “light” in it. The word “alight” means “to come down” (as in from heaven). The funny part is that I’ve never heard of either of their names before but they totally fit the girls’ personalities. Breathe, at 8, is very thoughtful: she writes stories. And Alight is just a ball of energy, she’s always smiling and laughing–she’s as bright a light as I can think of. Good luck! 🙂
Uh-oh; it looks like i accidentally hit “send” twice—feel free to delete one of the messages sent your way! Sorry!
Everybody has a logical reason (to them) for the name they chose–no matter how whacky it sounds to others. And a lot of people do just what you did: made your statement to the world through the names of your children.
And the children have to live with the consequences. My Dad made his statement (of love & respect to a dear relative) when he named me. Thankfully my quality of life improved so much after I changed my name at age 13. Sadly, his resistance to that idea led to a rift between us for about ten years.
“In the name of love”…if your daughter can’t stand the teasing anymore when they get to their teens, and want to change their names, please say YES.
I personally love your girl’s names 🙂 especially “breathe”. Beautiful.
Thank you! The most important ones, my girls themselves, love their names too. Alight enjoys telling others that she is a light, and Breathe, who is older, enjoys telling others that HER name has “meaning.” My name, common as it is, is spelled weird and, growing up, there was some teasing, even good naturally from teachers, but the difference always made me feel special, like I had something different, something that was just mine, from everyone else. I did not choose unique names for my girls to make my “statement”, I did it because I love them enough to teach them that they are special, and that they don’t have to conform to BE special. Thank you for the affirmation, glynis. 🙂
I have it on good authority that this post was stolen from my good friend MJ Monaghan!
Just kidding…
But his version rocks as well!
Oh wow. Those are some pretty awful names. I’ve heard the names Summer and Autumn for a girl. At first I thought they were strange but now I think they’re pretty nice. But some names I don’t think will ever be nice.
I don’t mind using seasons as names, but straying into ampersands, copyright symbols and other punctuation marks is insane. Imagine calling your child semi-colon? Madness!
Wish my mom christened me Summer. I really love this name. It is unique.
When my fiance and I have kids, we’re very likely going to name them Amelia Pond and River Song (they’d better both be girls), because we’re huge geeks and love Doctor Who. Hopefully we won’t have a boy, because then we might have to name him Doctor or Stormageddon.
Stormageddon…that’s intense. I like it!
If it’s a girl, you could just name her “Blue Ivy”.
You can’t deny it’s a pretty sounding name. Not exactly my style though.
Haha this is really funny and i think it’s a great idea for a blog good luck with the names.
Thanks, I’m gonna need it!
I’m thinking that “N/A” comes from parents that have not decided on a name yet and fill in the blank on the birth certificate with a N/A. I would like to think that they eventually end up as Johnny’s and Sarah’s. Hey, I can dream, right?
I’ve gotten alot of comments to this effect. I guess that is logical, though I was kinda hoping there were kids out there named N/A. Don’t know why, I just was.
As a grammarphile, my greatest challenge with La-a is that, if you’re going to be technically correct it wouldn’t be pronounced Ladasha. It would be Lahyphena. Or if you absolutely had to go the dash route (which is incorrect if you’re using punctuation the right way) you would need to differentiate between the M dash and the N dash. So are you Lamdasha or Landasha.
I wonder if any of her English teachers ever called her out on that.
Glad you said that, so I didn’t have to. :^)
Haha this is aboslutely hilarious.
”Hey you guys, meet my wonderful Not Applicable”
I agree with previous comments, sometimes a bad name can be accidental. (hopefully my family and friends don’t read this)
My sons close friends twins Asama and Ben are 2 teens pretty happy that Osama bin Laden is dead and not in the news all the time
My brother’s middle names (we all have 2 each) “John Thomas” , after his grandfather and father respectively (john thomas is english slang for penis but my parents didn’t know that at the time)
I bet babies are now going to be named & and ~ after this post!
Your post is almost off the Freshly Pressed page. I am so going to miss seeing that angry baby face. I thank you for the joy you have brought into my life with that. Cheers.
If people are going to start calling their child female (assuming they’re actually a female) I wonder if they’ll start calling them stupid or ugly too 🙂
Haha! I’ve experienced some of these names in the US, I often wonder if there is any rule of names cause some of them are just totally ridiculous! haha
Heheh, good luck with those names. 🙂
Thanks, lots of possibilities here!
How about simply . ? Pronounced Dot? Or .T?
Ahh that picture is amazing! Super cute angry baby!
Ha, haven’t heard him described as Super cute before.
Wow, I’m bummed to be so late in this! Excellent post, as usual!
Thanks Laine! I started trying to reply to the comments as they came in on Friday, but it got so overwhelming. Now that the waters have receded, I’m going in! Thanks for leaving a comment as usual!
all is good as long as you don’t choose the name “fa kin su pah”
Noted! Thanks.
There are waaayyy too many crazy names out there! I have to say I went to high school with a girl named La-a and she was always very offended when you said her name wrong! I also went to school with twins named Orangejello and Lemonjello – what? Yes I did, they were a few years ahead of me! My aunt works at in hospital billing and she saw the name Asholay (pronounced Ash-lee) and my personal favortie, Shithead, pronounced shy-theed. WHHYYY!! Why do parents do this to their children?!
Love the post! Congratulations!!
I had no idea how many La-as and Jello twins there were out there. It seems everyone here knows one or the other. Thanks for commenting!
Well, if u want something patriotic, name her.. Usnavy… it is a pretty common name in some Central America`s county out of US-Navy don´t ask why! Or Disney… perhaps, also common around the other Americas… Mary Storm (Maria Tormenta)… Elymail (which just for the sound in Spanish would mean the-email)… and finally Primitiva (primitive)… Good luck finding a good name… the posibilities are wide and there is no point to draw the line it seems…
I’m not very brave though, so could we go with “usarmyreserves” or “usdepartmentofdefense”? I’m not much of a front lines kind of guy.
Reblogged this on herbassfulness and commented:
this post is random…nbot germaine to anything i’m used to posting anyways but its always refreshing to clear your mental palate
Thanks for the reblog!
you’re welcome. good entry
I like unusual names.
I also think it is a weird thing when people choose a name what sounds like a pet name like wuffi .it doesn’t give the a nicer name.It means that your chield will always, have to spell their name funny
Good point, pet names should remain with pets.
I loved this post. I recently read the illegal baby names article several people referred to as well. I just can’t believe the names people come up with. A girlfriend of mine who does relief teaching once asked the students to write their names. One little girl wrote down ABCD. The teacher thought the girl had misunderstood the instruction and said “no sweetie, we are not doing the alphabet today. We are writing our names.”
“That is my name,” said the little girl.
The teacher reviewed the class register to find the girl was quite right. Apparenetly they pronounced it Ab-seh-dee.
Also, my mother has a friend called Wayne Kerr. Seriously… what were his parents thinking!
I’ve heard the alphabet thing more times than enough…I just consider it lazy. But Wayne Kerr…that one is hysterical!
It’s not likely my wife and I will have any more kids, so I will not get to apply my favorite candidate name to a daughter, ever. You’re more than welcome to it, if you like it: Potus (for President of the United States).
Works for a boy as well, but I think when applied to a girl it has a bit more poignance.
I hope you take it. Congratulations!
Excellent suggestion. I’ll put it on the list. Thanks for the comment!
Thanks, glad to be of service. If your wife objects, you can also try “Thepotus,” pronounced with a hard ‘th’ and rhymed with ‘exodus.’ Sounds kinda Greek.
One more I had thought of for our son, but which was rejected: Eustill, as in, “You still here?”
Enjoy!
As a person with an unpronounceable given name and a married woman with an unpronounceable surname, I applaud your decision making process. It costs quite a bit to have your name legally changed and I wish my parents could have taken a look into the future, seen my frustration, and just named me Ivy instead of Teicha. Of course through years of working in human resources, I have had plenty of people to commiserate with including Archangel, Babygirl and Intransista (she was born on a bus).
I think it’s funny that so many people with “unique” names seem to have gone into a profession where they come in contact with unique names all the time (teachers, DMV workers, HR folks). Thanks for the comment!
Okay, my niece is an OB/Gyn and one of her mothers named her baby Gonorrhea. Pronounced in Spanish it sounded so pretty to her, that she didn’t care what the silly meaning was in English. She insisted on naming her little girl Gonorrhea. Imagine when that one starts school!
I respect the general opinion that if the word sounds beautiful, it doesn’t matter what the meaning is…except when we’re talking about venereal diseases.
I know, right? I just imagine the day she starts seventh grade. Watch out!
If this is the same person a met, She was an African American lady in her twenties (about 10 years ago) and she pronounced her name as Gonora. I learned about the spelling through a co-worker. Obviously she kept the spelling as secret as possible. Who wouldn’t?
She also like to be called Jenny, and only when someone would ask her if it was short for Jennifer, she would say Gonora. Trying to avoid the spelling of her name. What stupid parents can make kids go through!!
My niece is an OB/Gyn and she had a mother who named her baby Gonorrhea. Pronounced in Spanish it sounded pretty, according to the mother. My niece told her what it meant in English, but she didn’t care. She named her little girl Gonorrhea. Imagine that on the first day of school!
This was an interesting read, including the list. I am now following you!
and this has to be the best baby name ever: http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2011/11/17/little-baby-dovahkiin-is-born-parents-win-skyrim-naming-contest.aspx
If you name her that, her nickname can be Dove 😀
Haha, thanks for the link. Loved it!
I don’t know…those are some great options. You guys are gonna have a tough time deciding…
I know, right? These comments have provided some really top-shelf options.
Don’t forget to add Courvoisier, Cognac, Hennessey and Alize. Yup all alcohol! Some of these badly named children may be wise enough when they get old enough to do it to get a different name! The court may even do it for free! You can not give your child a name that not only they can not pronounce but no one else can either nor do you name your children after fruit. Most of these oddly named children are all going to school with each other say hey you no you what’s your name? Oh yeah Apple! The name America is part of the spanish culture of names and has nothing to do with our country being name the same. I asked. Now we really have to worry when children start being named after breakfast cereals. Wheatena, Trix, Shredded Wheat and Grits! lol
Alcohol and poor decision making…you mean they go together? Shocking!
I dont really care and dont bother me the names of countries in Babies. What bothers me is to find Usnavy Sanchez or Robocop Molina in the birth certificate
Robocop…now that’s hardcore!
My 77 year old Mother’s first name is O’Deal; her sister was Viona. My grandmother got so much ribbing over those names that she named her next to children Bill and Mary. Everyone calls my mother “Deal.” And my aunt was called “Dutch” all her life. This generation does seem to be the worst, but other generations were creative, too. My mother named my siblings and I names out of the top 100.
O’Deal…interesting. I think it’s tough having what sounds like a last name as a first name.
She would get mail addressed to Mr. O’Deal all the time.
I loooove the baby’s furious look hahahaha!
Reminds me of my own great time name hunting for my newborn – but seriously, I believe we should choose a meaningful name that we love (and think our child will love).
Superb post!
Blessings.
Thank you for the kind words and for stopping by to comment!
Took me about half an hour to scroll down to leave a comment, haha, congrats on being Freshly Pressed! Hilarious post! So true, and I’m sure you could find a child called & out there if you tried, considering all the ridiculous names out there. 🙂 Abbie
The feedback on this post has been amazing, some really great comments! Thanks for leaving one…by the way, the wife and I like the name Abigail (not sure if that is your full name or not).
Abigail is a pretty name isn’t it? I’ve found with a lot of people I know who are having kids that the naming-trend-pendulum is finally (not always, of course) beginning to swing the other way, and people are choosing old-fashioned names in order to be original. Plenty of Albert’s, Amelia’s, Isabella’s, Oliver’s and Archie’s going around. I also love the names Hazel, Rudi (girls) and Flynn for a boy. Good luck choosing!
La-a? Why not just spell it out- Ladasha? It actually looks pretty. I can just imagine roll call on the first day of school…
John?
Here!
Tara?
Here!
Bob?
Here!
Um… sorry… Law aw?
…
Lay-ay?
…
You mean La(dash)a, miss?
The poor kid would be tortured for the rest of her life.
I actually knew a girl named La-a. And my grandmothers patients were twins named Lemanjello and Orangejello (Le- man- zhello and Ar- an- zhello).
And I am friends with two girls named Ima and Yura… big deal? Well, their last names are Pigg (They’re full names are Ima Pigg and Yura Pigg… Sucks huh?)
I know a girl named Zina (what does it sound like?)
Try having the name Laureanna. Pronouced, Loretta with n’s instead of tt’s.
My friends call me MLA format (Emily format)
I know twins named Jamisha and Tamisha.
I know someone named Shonace. Pronounced Saen a Cee.
One of my best friends is Kia not as in the car, but Kae with an a at the end.
Darvin is a winner too.
My first friends name is Isemael. Pronounced Ish mail.
One of my pet peeves is when parents name their kids Delia and pronounce it Deal iah. It is pronounced Delie ah! I have known about like… 5 Delia’s and 4 of them pronounce it Delie ah, and the other one pronounces it Deal iah. It gets on my nerves… It’s Delie ah, Delia. End of story.
There’s this girl named Therese pronounced Theresa.
When did “Cogan” become a name?!
PARENTS!!! The names Logan and Riley are BOY names!!!!!!
Larken is a cute boy name… but they will meet mean kids in highschool… Please quit calling your kids Door. Doo ahr is not how bullies are going to pronounce their names.
Collin is a confusing name for kids with dislexia… Colin Collin…
Please quit naming girls “Mary Anne” “Mary Grace” “Mary Hannah” “Mary Lou” ITS SO CONFUSING!!!
LOL names gotta love ‘em!
These were great. I think I laughed hardest at the Pigg girls. Thanks for the comment!
I’m adding one to that; my colleague’s name is Floor. Now to us Dutch that’s a very common name; plenty of girls are named Floor here. But you can imagine what sort of responses she gets working in an international company with mostly English speaking employees.
Kind of means that we all have to make sure the name doesn’t sound like anything weird in any other language, right? Because you never know! Speaking about pressure… o.0
Also the name “Heaven Leigh”… not to mention the way it is so confusingly spelled, it also gives teachers expectations about the child’s attitude!
I found some more:
Brick (perfect for the baby whose skin is a beautiful bright red and as hard as a rock)
Da’Unique (trying to make the ever-unoriginal name Unique sound unique)
Cotton (fits the baby who is fluffy, white, and makes a good sweater)
Crazy (my favorite, an adjective name)
Kal-el (kahl-dash-ELLE)
M-L-Y (pronounced Emily)
And the best one…
Unwanted! (I wonder who named their kid that… the owner of a second-hand store?)
LOL Unwanted lets see how they will explain that…
M-L-Y, thats really funny. And I like names that are colors, like Brick (for Brick Red) or Fuchsia (for, you know…Fuchsia)
I think naming your baby after a significant date is awesome. My eldest son Pancake doesn’t seem to agree though!!! I’ts a joke. Who names their children Pancake??? 😉
Can I toss # into the mix of contenders? Octothorpe would be the name. 🙂 Hmm…may be more appropriate for a boy…
This kid name Shithead. (Pronounce Sha-Theid). Well my bf had to take him to the doctor after a soccer game. and the woman called him up like… “Sh- Sh- Shit head?” and his Mom stood up and said , “Oh no, girl! You KNOW his name Sha- theid!!!” It was so funny. So when ever we see him we stand up and snap our fingers and say “Oh no girl! You KNOW his name Shithead!” (Pronouncing it Sha theid)… xDDD Soooo funny…
I’m glad you wrote this; it gives parents a glimpse of the real world their child may face because some people ARE cruel.
Now, have mercy and quit doing that whenever you see the poor guy. You’d hate it –and feel very guilty– if you heard he’s committed suicide.
Octothorpe sounds like the perfect supervillian name to me!
Love this! It definitely has a “super villian” feel to it though.
OMGoodness. My stomach hurts. Ampersand drove me over the wall. I get to see a lot of funny names at work, unfortunately most of them are clients … it’s really hard to keep from laughing sometimes. I have to excuse myself with a quick “please hold” until I can compose myself. There was a guy whose name was (God, forgive me for repeating this), Jack Rabbitt. I spent so much time laughing about his name that when I actually got to typing the cover letter for my mailing, I made the mistake of addressing it to Peter Rabbit. Thank goodness I caught it in time. He now goes by John, I wonder why? Did he not see the humor in his name earlier? What’s in a name? A whole heck of a lot! Good luck. My suggestion for your newest’s name is “Three” – at least it makes sense.
Jack Rabbitt…come on! Seriously? Thanks for that one!
no lie, honest. although as i mentioned he is now known as John Rabbitt – but his brother Peter refused to change his name LOL.
The irony of La-a is that…. that’s actually a hyphen. So It’s actually la-hyphen-a. Good job guys.
LoL.. I can see a “Lahyphena” Pronounced “La-hy-PHE-na, of course.. (Kidding… Just kidding.. )
Jen
Lahyphena is getting a lot of play here on the comment string. Thanks for mentioning it. And for stopping by to comment!
Had to come back and comment again as I found more info on the McConaughy weird name collection. His brother that named his child Miller Lyte is named Rooster… what?! http://www.examiner.com/internet-buzz-in-national/miller-lyte-mcconaughey-matthew-s-nephew-must-see-picture
In case you’re interested some popular Patriotic Australian ones are Matilda, Banjo, Sydney, Lawson, Flinders, Ned, Adelaide, Murray, Joey, Clancy, Flynn, Tasman.
The McConaughy story is funny for sure. And I’m not gonna lie, I kind of like Banjo.
Awesomeness! 😉
Seriously, this was a wonderful read. I could go on for days about the plethora of ludicrous names I’ve heard, or the stories I’ve heard from others about such names for children.
It should be considered child abuse, in my opinion.
I once heard of a woman naming her twin boys Orangejello and Lemonjello, pronounced Ah-rahn-zhel-o and Lah-mahn-zhel-o.
Also, I used to know a girl named Bronchita (think Bronchitis) and another in elementary school named Livore, pronounced like liver…
What is the world coming to?
Anyway–Peace and love to you and your family 🙂
I have a friend who works in a hospital where a set of twins were named Orangejello and Lemonjello. Can’t say I disagree about the child abuse thing. Everytime I run into an (IMO) unfortunate name I can’t help but declare I’d have changed my name.
I will not hesitate to confess that I did not read the entire article because when I saw the title of this entry, I knew exactly where this was headed.
All I can say is that it’s a good thing you’re not in Detroit. We name our kids (I don’t have any myself-doubt it if I ever will, either), but in the inner-city, we name our kids after cars we can’t afford (Porsche, Allante, etc.), the prefix is either la-, sha, de, da, tra, and HALF THESE @#$% NAMES I CAN’T EVEN SPELL!
Used to be a time you’d give a kid a Biblical name, or a name out of the Quran, or the Talmud or something. I just don’t get it sometimes.
Haha! Watching this again!
Maybe that proves how wonderful the post is!
Please spare some time and hover over to http://raajtram.com/host-wordpress-com-blog-through-godaddy/
I did like this. My wife and I are having our first in June. She just entered the third trimester. So much fun… This made me smile. Thank you for posting this.
I teach, and the worst two I’ve seen are:
Mac ‘n Cheese
Precious Pleasure
No way! Mac’n’Cheese? How cruel are some parents!!! Good thing they are not Canadian or they would be called “Kraft Dinner”. It makes me sad – mean mean parents!!!
Someone above mentioned they feel it is abuse and I tend to agree! There is a HUGE difference between giving your kid a name that is unique and giving them a name that is ridiculous!!!
I have heard of a few people called Precious the 2 I have met were not nice people, a princess in the bad sense of the word is an understatement. But I am sure there are many people with that name that are lovely. Funny how our experiences jade us against certain names!
Oh, I’ve got an incredible number of stories I could tell about names; food names especially. I like unique names, but my rule is that it shouldn’t get the kid bullied or laughed out of a job interview.
I don’t object to the name Precious, per se, I just object to combining it with a second name that sounds like it belongs to an exotic dancer. The two names were her actual first name.
Oh, and I forgot one earlier: Anna Banana.No kidding.
What a great blog and what a great find through the power of your WordPress popularity. I agree that the endless stream of foolish kid names seems to have no end. And while you certainly have cornered the market on the really absurd, there is an endless supply of crimes-against-humanity kid names that are masquerading as real names… Sisters named Coraline and Emmaline, Brothers named Brick, Buck and Rudd… We have been blatantly anti-theme name in our family. No flowers, herbs, grandma names, or the like.
Kudos on Jake… now he gets to form an identity for himself other than that which his name traps him in.
From one modern day dad to another… Nick
martinisoptional.com
Noting that you had mentioned automobile names, I thought of this one example from my own experience.
I knew of a young lady who named her firstborn child “Camry,” as in Toyota Camry.
When asked why she chose that name for the child, she didn’t skip a beat in her answer.
“Because that’s where she was conceived.”
And now, back to life, back to reality.
Yep… I’ve heard that one with the car… Disturbing. This is a great post.
Wow. Don’t think we could come up with any other bad baby names because they are all listed here! 🙂
thats the things with names, what is funny once can become really ‘in’ later….remember in the series sienfeld; George castanza wanted to name his daughter seven ….now david beckham’s daughter is called seven !! 🙂 congrats on freshly pressed.
I thank my folks for gifting me with a normal sounding name that matches well with my surname. That being said, where I’m from (the Philippines), most people refer to you by your nickname. Common nicknames here are “Boy”, “Baby”, “Girlie”, etc. In my family, I find it ridiculous to call my “Uncle Boy” and my “Aunt Baby”. Or how about “Grandma Girlie”. Ugh.
I also know a family that named their kids Prince, Duke, Princess, Queenie and Duchess. However as adults, they’ve ALL opted to use other non-related names instead haha.
1000th blogger to “like” this post…you’re welcome haha. loved this.
I recently read this article about baby names that have been banned in various countries around the world, very funny, bizarre, disturbing and quirky all at once…ENJOY!!
http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/blogs/yahoo-lifestyles/10-illegal-baby-names-194006397-3.html
When i was a kid i always complain to my parents for not giving me a special and not normal name.. Glad now i got this one which is normal and half of the population has it lol
Reblogged this on The insane mutterings of a sane man and commented:
“Female” is the worst I’ve heard of – parents thinking the midwives had namedf the baby for them. “Bloggs, Female”
I skipped! I was about 10% down the list, and enjoyed the comments as much as your post 😀 I happen to like Linnea (spelled classic way) and of course Mika. You know where I’m coming from, hih. In Finland you don’t have to name your baby until the child is 2 months old. That’s good, because sometimes the actual baby does not LOOK like the name you picked. So have a couple of names available 😀 It makes it harder if your family has mixed background, like we European/American. Names have to be easy in both homelands. We made OK, and actually found that their names translate also into Japanese as Land and Apricot! Funny post and it seems to have hit the spot!
Hahahaaaaa!!! This is freaking hilarious! Thanks so much for posting, and congrats on the Freshly Pressed! You deserve it 🙂
I met a little girl once who spelled her name for me. This is exactly what she told me: “K… No. Capital K, dash, capital L, A.”
“Kayla” spelled “K-La”? Took me by surprise, and I definitely have never forgotten it!
My son is called Roarke. I found the name in the “in death” series of books by J.D. Robb and it’s the only one me and hubby could agree on! You’d be surprised by the different spellings and pronunciations we get!
It’s said as “roar-ke” but we mainly get “roke” which has been a spelling of it once as well!
Parents try to get their children a stardom in weird world through weird name. 😛
Having a strange name myself I am very heartened to see this especially since I work in the medical field and frequently have to call patients that I absolutely have no idea how to pronounce there name!!! My name is Anneke… it rhymes with Hanukkah(as in the Jewish holiday), It is actually becoming more and more popular(or so I hear). I have been called a few strange things, including areola(random drunk guy couldn’t remember my name…probably a joke), Annameka (Elderly person who liked watching The Lawrence Welk show with a performer of Spanish descent with this name). The worst thing I have experienced with my name however was when I spent a year in an Arabic speaking country and later found out that if my name was pronounce VERY slightly differently… as in ah-nee-kuh it actually means— I want to F*%# you… I did not find this out until a year or two after having visited there it. Great post!!! Congrats on FP, and Blessing for your family and new addition.
I’m a teacher. My favorite all-time worst names had to be a set of brothers. Their names were pronounced “Le-Mon-Je-Lo” and “Oh-ran-Je-Lo.”
Spelled? Lemon Jello, Orange Jelloo.
No, I am not kidding.
Oops! That would be “Orange Jello,” not “Jelloo.” Although that would be rather fun, too. Sort of a cross between a snack product and a Jungle Book character…
I’m a teacher so I’ve heard some great ones. The best ones being:
Tupacalypse (like Tupac + Apocalypse)
Shadynasty (Sha-dynasty, not shady-nasty)
I’m a teacher so I’ve heard some great ones. The best ones being:
Tupacolypse (like Tupac + Apocolypse)
Shadynasty (Sha-dynasty, not shady-nasty)
I know a teacher who had a La-a in her class! On the first day of school, she was calling role, and came to La-a and didn’t have a clue how to pronounce it. The little girl was quick to correct her by saying “It’s LA-DASH-A. The dash is NOT silent”. Poor thing will have to do that for the rest of her life…. absolutely not fair.
Thought you might also enjoy these little gems:
Twins –
Orangejello (pronounced Oh-RAHNJ-ello) and
Lemonjello (pronounced Lem-AHNJ-ello)
and Nosmo King ( derived from the “no smoking” sign that was hanging in the delivery room)
Poor babies…. not destined for greatness with names like those. It’s a shame.
Just remembered seeing something about the name Facebookson. Apparently this couple met on Facebook and now that they have a son, they named the poor thing Facebookson.
My husband and I are having our second child. I’m 25 weeks along. We’re having a girl and decided to name her Zoe. Short and sweet like our son’s name, Erik. If you’re looking for unique names how about mine? Elke (L-Key).
I didn’t like it that much growing up, because I was the only one, but I love it!
Good luck with your decision.
Oh, do not even get me started. I’m a mother-baby nurse, and I keep a list of truly insane names that have been bestowed upon some of our little bundles of joy. I’ve discussed the idea of a “Name Consult” with severael pediatricians, all of whom support the idea of such an intervention: if a nurse identifies a parent who wants to name her child something like “Shuglister” (yes, it’s on my list), she may request that the pediatrician step in and say something like, “Your child is just perfect, and we’ll be happy to seem him or her in clinic next week. But I’m afraid we just can’t permit you to give him or her that name. Here are some acceptable alternatives.”
This post had me in hysterics! Well done! I’m pregnant with my first right now and for some reason we can’t come up with any girls names we agree on either. There are some really crazy names out there. Maybe we’ll go with ‘&’… that one made me laugh pretty hard.
My momma is a NICU doc, and she has seen:
Urine (yur-eeen)
Square and Squalina (twins, squa-ray and squa-lina)
Lump Jackson III (WHY would you name a kid that THREE TIMES?)
All of those are amazing.
We’re currently in the same situation, 27 weeks pregnant with our first. As a teacher I have a list of ‘absolutely NOs’, generally naughty children who I’ve taught over the years and think I would find myself thinking of them as I yelled my child’s name! Still, we’ve got a while left to make some decisions!
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
WHO NAMES THEIR CHILDREN VIRGIN?!?!?!?!?! RIOT!!!!!! Visit my blog please 😛
Fantastic post!
Please don’t steal La-a.. If I have another child, that shall be her name.
-Daisy
I have a Chevy in my family (a second cousin who is a year or so older than me and I am 37) so that one at least has beend around for awhile!
How about “Swastika” ?
In the family law practice you see ‘am all and I am not making that up.
.
It’s a traditional Nepalese name. Remember: before the Nazis, swastika was a good thing. And it still is in places where Nazis mattered less.
After putting up with having an unusual name myself that no-one could or can pronounce or spell correctly I went for what I thought were super-conservative, easy, perennial names for my children… all four of them. Unbelievably some people still spelt them wrong, and 2 of them turned out to be so common in their school year it was ridiculous, while the other 2 suffered the same fate as myself, as I’m sure my super-conservative parents didn’t realise they were naming me anything strange or unusual at the time, but then I grew up in a different time and place… So probably going for an old fashioned name will turn out to be unusual stand-out by the time your little one gets to school! All you can do is try to be kind – and don’t forget to check what the initials make.
Oh unbelievable, you don’t tell us what your name is!
lol – that’s the point… I don’t like my name so I avoid sharing it!
Congrats on your impending joy and also on being FP!
When I was learning to talk I could not pronounce the name my parents chose so I started saying something simpler. My mother then started calling me that and as far as I’m concerned it has always been my name. When I was at school they referred to me by my christened name but I found it weird and never related to it. When naming my own kids, I made sure they had pronounceable names and also a middle name which was sufficiently different in case they really didn’t like their first one.
FYI, in Australian indigenous culture, if someone dies, for a long time you should not say their name (or view pics of them) – the deceased is just referred to by a special word (eg. Kumantye). If you happen to have the same name as the deceased you are also then called Kumantye. Sadly because indigenous people have short life expectancy there are always community members dying. So their babies these days tend to get quite unique names. But nothing like any of the ones you mention!
Best of luck in choosing. I’m sure the internet will help you out !
No matter how many times I see a picture of an angry baby face I laugh hysterically. Angry babies are awesome (at this point it must be apparent to any and all parents that I do not have any children).
Really Saab or Virgin. What is the would coming too. Changing the pronunciation is just stupid. Sorry but it is. What do you think people are going to call the kid. Kid to kid the teasing will be out of control. The child will not want to give their name out when meeting new kids. Can you imagine roll call on the first day of school times K-12 too include Pre-k in many places. I don’t want to hurt any feelings but think about the child as if it they were more than a hand bag.
Anyone can and will mangle a name, no matter how simple you believe it to be. My name is Julie and yet you would be surprised to hear how many times it became ‘July’ in spelling or pronunciation.
I came from a big family of “normal” names: Melinda, Joel, Michael (Mike), Larry, Dale, James (Jim) Traci, Lee, Julie… the only “unusual” one was Jacqueline Suzanne (who was named after the author) and was called Jackie Sue. But almost all of us has ended up with unusual sounding names for our kids… although not TOO unusual.
My son’s name is Streeter as I wanted an unusual name that was easy to pronounce and to spell. It still gets mangled because people don’t actually believe it is a first name. It’s often replaced with Steven. Since his birth, though, we’ve met (online) three other Streeters, so it’s not the only one.
My mom would always caution us kids when naming to stand at the back door and yell the name as loud as we could. She said we would be doing that for the next 18 years, so it better sound good!
Good luck with your impending delivery! And the fam as a whole!
Nice list there! I think I’ve heard of more people named after States. I know of one named Florida. I also know that Wednesday is the name of the Adams family kid. I would love to meet someone named Mortisha! As for the N/A, maybe that’s not the actual baby’s name. Maybe the parents haven’t yet agreed on the name of the baby at the time of his/her birth, and those birth certificates were amended once the parents came to an agreement. Also, I know that religious Jewish parents don’t reveal the name of their baby boy until his bris (when the baby is eight days old)…
amusing post. i like your basketball metaphor even though i’m not a huge sports fan. best of luck picking a name for #3. at this point “#3” is appropriate since you’ll inevitably call him/her by your other two children’s names anyway–it’s inevitable.
your comment made me giggle, my mum once called me by the name of my brother, cousins, three cats, dad, and aunt before she finally gave up and said, “who are you again?”
Naming disasters sometimes aren’t the parents’ fault. The expression dickhead is fairly recent, and rather embarrassing for the Richard Heads given that name: and my fishmonger, Mr Potter, prefers to be known as Henry now.
My wife is a Native American from Colombia, which, as a country, at the time she gave me twins, was up the proverbial creek without the paddle (you get bored with the cocaine jokes after a while), so we chose a name for one of them which was NA, but not Colombian – Tonantzín, which is variously translated as Our Gracious Lady, Mother Goddess, or simply Mary. It’s Mexican. How would we know the drugs trade would move north?
We always said she could change when she got older (teenage girls almost always customise their names anyway), or abbreviate it to Tona. She has abbreviated it, as has her sister, Christine. They are ‘Tine and ‘Tzín. We should have seen that one coming.
I have a collection of business cards from the days when I used to travel all round the world. They include Rich Chocolate (Chuculate is a Cherokee name), Young Bum Lee (Korean) and Xavier Yngvi Zetterstrom (Swedish) – initials XYZ.
Hardest to keep a straight face: being greeted at Athens Airport – “Hello! Welcome to Greece! I am Sophocles.”
Umm, Chevy Chase comes to mind.
I was 10 years old when my family moved to the US. Imagine my confusion when trying to learn English since I was in a classroom with a girl named Stormy Knight and another named Candy Kane (no lie).
We had a young Zulu guy just out of school who worked in our garden a couple of times a month. He used his English name, which was Praise God. Once when we couldn’t find him we ended up calling out,”Praise God! Praise God!” What the neighbours thought about our religious fervour, I don’t know.
That’s hilarious!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! Great blog. It’s a crime what people can name their kids. We had a kid at my school called Simon Said… !?
How do you pronounce a name that starts of with an exclamation mark? Hi Missus Jones and this would be !nyeke with her brother !bileh.
I knew a guy called Kuntz, he kept on saying it was pronounced Koontz. I called him Jeremy.
But Englebert Humperdinck is class!
From what I understand, exclamation marks are pronounced by clicking your tongue… or throat which we Americans can’t do correctly!
How do you pronounce a name that starts with an exclamation mark? Hello is this your cute child !nyeke and her brother !bileh.
I knew a guy called Kuntz, pronounced Koontz well that’s what he kept on telling us.I just called him Jeremy.
But then Englebert Humperdinck is class!
I live in Spain and the traditional(!) names they have here include: Angel, Fanny, Inmaculada Concepción (yes, as in Immaculate Conception), Esther (pronounced Es-stair), Dolores (pains), Felicísimo (very happy), Iluminada (illuminated).. I could go on! And these are traditional names… Just imagine what the “unique” ones are like… By the way, my name is Tia (means “princess” in Greek and “aunty” in Spanish) Kezia (which means “good thing after bad times”, one of Job´s daughters).. As you can imagine, here in Spain I go by the name Kezia 🙂
So, I’m just now finishing my night shift in postpartum where we hear tons of names, but when I read these I was laughing so hard I was crying! Here I was sitting by myself at my computer totally cracking up! A co-worker caught me…it was so embarrassing! I don’t know if these are true or not, but this post was hilarious!!!
Thank God for my name, Jennifer..very common name..I cannot blame my parents as I am the 10th child to begin with…Funny post!
Eh, that picture isn’t your baby right? I think I have seen that somewhere in videos. But your baby might shown that kind of expression if given a name that people will make a laughing stock out of it.
The craziest name I’ve seen in a book is Abcde (pronounced Ab-si-dee) and Humvee, as in the the Army vehicle. On a real little girl I had students named Desire Romance and Destinknee (supposed to be Desitny/Destinee)
Very nice post! I have to say some of those names were actually creative. Not that I would name my child any of them, but creative nonetheless. This post made my day! 🙂
Totally true, in the pages of court notices, one young man was called (first name) Mainline. What chance did he have!
I keep thinking how hard it is going to be for kids to learn to spell their name when they get to school… A friend of mine named her child Indiana which would be nice except she spelt it Indiyannah. Poor kid. I’d feel so ripped off if that was my name and the child sitting next to me was Joe or Sam etc. 🙂
Great post, congrats on FP. I only clicked through because of the photo. It’s a classic.
I like many of those unusual names. It sure beats something average like Mary and John.
My Arabic name is Hanan. The H isn’t quite like the Engilsh h, it’s a breathy sound deep down in the throat. When chatting on the internet using a Latin keyboard, Arabs represent unique sounds in Arabic with numbers.
So you see people named 3del (pronounced ‘aaa-dil”), “5alid” (pronounced khaa-lid) etc.
I think the internet chat language kind of got into my head and I actually started thinking of my name as “7anan” and when asked to spell it, I say 7-a-n-a-n…
Love the baby so much :)) “You name me whaaat!!” Probably I will yell to my parents too if I understand when I was a baby.. they name me exactly the same with the name of the hospital where I was born.. LOL
I am so glad someone brought La-a (Ladasha) to the attention of the masses! I heard this name for the first time about a year ago, and wanted to jump through my radio to slap the person who thought this name was a good legacy to gift to their unborn child. That said, if you or your wife succumb to some sort of brain aneurism and name your child La-a, I will crawl through my computer screen to protest.
I like & (Ampersand) and La-a, that’s twice saving your kid all the effort in learning the letters of the alphabet or writing in cursive. My dad was weird for naming me after God. XD
Oh, I’ve enjoyed reading this for 2 1/2 hours!
An awful name I heard a woman call her little son is Coirvoisier (“Kwa-voss-ee-air'”). However she spells it, he’ll have a hard time learning it!
African-Americans where I live in GA must not know Spanish, because of the boys’ contracted names that start with La (feminine) instead of Le (masculine), like in LaJerrick. And most have apostrophes somewhere in the girls’ names, like D’janniqua.
You can kind of tell the (probably redneck) white peoples’ sons names such as Colton, Holden, River, Hunter, Blade, Cade – like they’ll all be outdoorsmen when they grow up.
What gets me is the girls with formerly boys’ names: Rilee, RyLee, Harley, Rivers, Sloan, etc. Can’t tell if a boy or girl anymore by the names.
The Junior of a Junior having the last name sometimes gets named Trey, being the 3rd.
My daughter’s middle name is Almarie, a contraction of family names. Now she just goes by Marie, which she chose herself.
Best wishes on the “2nd half”, and for having a healthy baby with a nice name!
Nanaverm: Coirvoisier is a brand of cognac. Interesting that people like to name babies for alcohol – Brandy, Shiraz, etc.
My Mom was a preschool teacher. At one time she had a boy in her class named Doctor, and another named Mister.
I do remember one time reading an article about unusual names. One woman had named her girl Vagina (Va-GEE-nah).
heehee … what a delightfully humourous post 🙂 .. I found myself smiling and chuckling all through.
I have a name for you … a friend of mine named her mongrel mutt “Slave”, and whenever Slave was called, he always came rejoicing! It’s rather ironic … but he was well loved … hmmmm 😐
Love the picture at the top of this post! Congrats on baby #3!
That “La-a” or “Ledasha” thing is a racist urban legend.
I never knew you could call your baby &…
Hilarious! If you do have a daughter I’m sure she’ll be much relieved not to end up with a name like that.
Gosh, I knew there were some ridiculous names out there, but nothing like the ones you just shared with us. Geez! I like the idea of giving my children unique names, but nothing like those.
I think it’s funny that boy names are easier than girl’s names for you and your wife. I have plenty of popular boy’s names that I like, but unique ones aren’t as easy for me to come up with as the ones I like for girls.
Congrats, by the way!! I hope the summer is more pleasant for momma than expected. 🙂
A friend of mine once saw this little girl running up and down a place where you were supposed to just sit down and be quiet. She thought the girl looked happy, but it was clear that she was disturbing the other people there. This went on for a while, and people started getting really annoyed. After a few more minutes of running an angry woman stood up and said, “Disneyland, sit down right now!” No one was able to keep a straight face after that.
My little girl was born on August 19th last year; we proudly made it through one of the hottest summers on record here in KC while I was the size of a small boat. My husband and son survived, although they were a bit chilly . . . evidently, 60* is cold for most folks? Not for hugely pregnant ladies, let me tell you what!! Suffice to say: congrats on the pregnancy, and save up for the electric bills! (And the kiddie pool is good, too–I sat on our deck with my feet in a tub of ice-cold water and Peanut’s Elmo spray-toy misting on the few days we waddled out so he could splash in his water table–it made it bearable.)
(and no, his name’s not really Peanut. Even I am not that cruel. ;))
LOL…!!! I’ve been seeing this on the wordpress homepage… This was funny… I have a blast thinking of all the weird names I have come about so far and there are so many of them…!!!
The twins: Or-on-gel-o and Le-mon-gel-lo (Spelled Orangejello and Lemonjello but taken from Orange Jello and Lemon Jello)
I don’t know why people think they can’t use names that other people have. We don’t need to be constantly inventing names or borrowing fictional characters. All the Bellas and Edwards named after young adult vampire trash drive me nuts. Great post and congrats on the FP! I was on a week ago and it was CRAZY! Enjoy it 😉
Reblogged this on Hot chocolate and books and commented:
There are names out of this world and I pity the poor kids, it gives them one more reason not to like their parents and the bullying they’ll face at school make me want to cry along with ’em. Awesome post though, it made my day 😀
You forgot Seven.
Nurse on the ICU neonates ward said they had parents called a little girl Tia…middle name Maria..a coffee liqueur that translates as Aunty Maria…Zowie Bowie, son of David doesn’t use his original first name I heard.
My favourites came from Geologist collegues of my husband who was working in Botswana when I was pregnant…Cabbage is used, as are Polite, Comfort,Tallboy and even Toolboy!
With regard to Grey-anne, the name “Grainne” is Irish and it is pronounced “Grah-nye” and I think it is beautiful, We considered that name for both of my girls, but ended up with “Erin-Claire” and “Micaela”. My vote for me second daughter was “Aine Rosoin ” (Irish, pronunciation “Anya-Rosheen)” and we would call her Annie Rose in English.
However, I was outvoted by my husband and oldest daughter, so Micaela Elizabeth it is.
My aunt was named America. We called her Merky, or Murky. You could nickname your little America, Mer -ee-ka (phonetics). Sound a lot less shady that Murky. I never did know how to spell that nickname. Good luck with the name search.
This is great. My sister and I were just talking about horrific baby names. Specifically, C’mon (pronounced Simone) and Abcdef (Ab suh def). Thanks for the laugh!
Congratulations on ~3 and FP. Thanks for the laughs – I have read all of the comments…
Awesome post! I was literally sitting here laughing out loud, enough to get my husband’s attention in the other room. Especially loved “La-a”! Good luck finding the right name =)
You’re not going to believe this, but I was hitchhiking out of Oklahoma and this guy picked me up (that’s not the unbelievable part). He was kind of an artsy-fartsy type–I think he did graphic design or something. He eventually drove me all the way to Kansas City.
Anyway, we were talking and he casually said that he named his two kids Bam Bam and Pebbles. Of course, I thought he was joking and, just as I started to laugh, I looked at him and HE WAS DEAD SERIOUS! He really named his two kids Bam Bam and Pebbles! Man, I couldn’t believe it!
The first thing I wanted to say was, “Do you hate your kids that much?!” But I didn’t say anything since he was the one giving me a ride. I probably nodded my head like it was no big deal because naming your kids “Bam Bam” and “Pebbles” is just like naming your kids “John” and “Sally”, right?
That’s child abuse!
Thanks for the laughs. Love the basketball metaphor and the photo! I’m the mom to twins and some of the naming combos parents with twins come up with drive me nuts as well. I opted for simple and easy to spell!
Very beautiful story and a great photograph to go along with it / that baby is amazing. Yes I did what you did sort of.. after haveing a boy and a girl.. we decided to find out on the third the sex.. just so I knew what to keep and what to get rid of! PURELY THAT.. and the names, I named my daughter Montana.. its a little out there but at almost 16 she loves her name.. her friends love her name and its been a success.. but if i had listened to the grandparents we would have a Margaret or a Tania but not a Montana… the best of luck with all of it especially the last 2o weeks! WELL DONE.. from a 3 x marathoner!! lo;
Remember the Seinfeld episode when George came up with the name Seven and one of his friends named his son that? Congrats on the new addition and on becoming Freshly Pressed. Remember a name can have everything to do how a person’s life turns out…so choose wisely! Nice post! ;).
A unisex option would be to make the name just the upside down lowercase “e” and call the baby “schwa.” Or if you didn’t want to pronounce it phoenically, you could just make the schwa sound as the baby’s name. Like . . . “uh.”
Someone has probably already said this, but the “LinnA(c)a” is clearly a case of a computer incorrectly reading a Swedish letter, in this case probably the “ae” symbol.
It’s generally anglicized to “Linnea” and pronounced, “Linn-A-ah” (that’s a hard “A” like in “cake”, then a soft “A” like in “father”). It’s the name of a Swedish flower, which was named after Swedish botanist Carolus Linnaeus, who invented modern bionomial nomenclature (basically, all the latin names for plants and animals).
My husband and I could not agree on a girl’s name to save our lives! And when we finally found one that didn’t make either one of us barf, a random, and fairly irritating, family friend suggested it to us with this proud look of triumph that made us certain that we could NEVER go with our one neutral moniker and have this person think for eternity that she had chosen our daughter’s name. Luckily we ended up with two boys.
My grandmother, who worked in an administrative office in a hospital on Long Island, claimed that many non-English speaking patients who had trouble filling out their forms would go home with birth certificates listing only the child’s sex (Female, Male) in the space for the child’s name. She claimed that many of these people thought that the hospital had assigned their child a name, hence the popularity of “Fee-mah-lay” and “Mah-lay” among the children of Spanish speaking immigrants on Long Island. No idea if this is true. But it is an interesting story.
Thanks for your post. Hope you find a girl’s name that works for you, unless of course you don’t end up needing one.
Oh my gosh- hilarity. Thanks for sharing, and what they heck! I have met a few people throughout my life who I just felt sorry for because they had such peculiar names- one was even named something that sounded similar to “genitalia” because her parents thought it sounded cool. Often, I just wonder what drugs the parents are on.
The name is Linnea. It means lime tree and it is a popular name in Sweden. It was taken from the last name of Carl Linnaeus, the father or taxonomy and binomial nomenclature. It was me ex’s name and it is quite beautiful off the lips and received quite a number of compliments while I was with her. I do not know your source, but I would suggest not paying it attention or staying away from websites that look like they were typed via computer mashing.
we keep a list at the hospital of terrible names. some are criminally bad: Deliverytruck (pronounced Della VEE trek)
Yomajesty and Yohighness (sisters)
Crystal Metha
Metha Fetamin
and the all-time worst, Shithead (pronounced Shi THA ed)
Department of Human Services was well acquainted with this last family!
In Britain there was a father who named his child after all eleven players of the Chelsea football team. This wouldn’t have been so bad but the child was a girl…
The mother went to the High Court to get her child’s name changed and it’s the only time in Britain that someone has had their name changed on their birth certificate. Here once the birth certificate has been issued, that’s it and you can’t change it, but they made an exception for this girl.
I’ve run across a few of these names.
Went to school with a guy. His last name was Newton. As you may be able to guess, his middle name was “Fig” and that’s the name he used.
I also remember there was a Real Estate Broker in Ft. Lauderdale, FL named Moe Katz. Yep, “more cats!” LOL! Had it on his sign out front of his office.
Then there was the guy I was doing business with, Forrest Brieze, “Forrest Breeze!”
Another case was Phelan Bright, “Feelin’ Bright!” This was a guy I worked with.
Do these parents just think they are comedians? These people have to live with this (and the teasing) their entire lives. How could they?
Went to school with a guy named Gale as in Gail, the girl’s name.
There was a sherrif in the next county, a man named “Shirley.” Word is that he was a tough old dude. I wonder why?
There was another (male) sherrif in the state named “Judy.” I’ve seen claims that Shirley and Judy were once exclusively male names. Maybe so. Both of these men would be nearing 100 years old by now.
I was hung with a very old fashioned name that was out of date before I was born.
I’m seeing a trend now of giving girls male sounding names.
I remember calling a customer once with a name I thought was a male name. It wasn’t and I almost embarrassed myself.
Love that angry baby image.
As a teacher, I want to remind all parents thinking of names for their new little ones that schools have to use the child’s official name – the one on the birth certificate – on all attendance and test documents and at graduations. So please save your child that horrible first day of school when the teacher reads THAT name to the class and establishes the child’s identity with his/her peers forever after. An unusual name or one that is hard to pronounce can destroy a child’s confidence. I know because my maiden name was always mispronounced as Boozer to gales of laughter especially at graducations. So choose wisely please.
Reblogged this on Ramblings of a Christian Father and commented:
Oh, the things we do to our kids
That is…..etc.
Wow I know a girl named Zero, but it is pronounced zehree
The person will have a hard time pronouncing that when he gives her her drivers liscence
If my son had had his way, his little sister would have been named Tulip-Daffodil. Fun post–good luck with parenthood and baby name choice!
I’ll keep mine short and sweet; I applaud you for thinking of your child in all of this and as someone who has processed birth certificates for a living for the past several years, you can imagine some of the “unique” doozies I’ve seen. I can’t post them here but there have been some that will shock and surprise you. The names you listed were very mild in comparison.
I’ll leave you with this little gem: “Champ.” I SO wish I could tell you the baby’s last name but it’s…unfortunate, to say the least. It isn’t bad enough your kid is saddled with a ridiculous surname by default. You named this sweet little guy, “CHAMP?” *le sigh*
Reblogged this on Not Just A Stay At Home Mom and commented:
It’s amazing what some people will call their kids. This is a funny post on some of the more absurd. For names that are so strange they’re illegal, check out this article: http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/blogs/yahoo-lifestyles/10-illegal-baby-names-194006397-3.html
I don’t know these people personally, but I know people who know these people, so it might actually be true.
Two sisters born to the Christmas family: Merry/Mary and Holly.
The ultimate, though, has to be the daughter of Mr. & Mrs. New (perhaps spelled “Neu” or something like that): Bran Spanken New.
Bran definitely has a lawsuit ready for her when she turns 18.
You wouldn’t believe how crazy it gets. I clicked on this post because I recently read another one about laws against certain baby names in other countries. Some countries actually have a list you have to pick off of. There have been some nutso names turned down. My personal fave?
“Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116″ (pronounced “Albin”).
we were favoring southern state names for a girl..Louisiana Hull, Mississippi Hull, Alabama Hull…luckily it was a boy…xo
I actually took the plunge on unique names for my son and named him Link after the Legend of Zelda hero. We decided to forego the middle name since it didn’t seem like he’d run into to many people with his name. And most people love it.
Congratulations on the healthy baby yet to be born.
My favorite name is:
– Lion …strong as a lion.
or
– Daniel.
I’m completely in love with the name ‘Alaska’ myself. Got it from the book ‘Looking for Alaska’ by John Green, that I read a couple of years ago, when I was a foreign exchange student in the States.
Unfortunately, the pronunciation is eve more bizarre in my native tounge, danish, which is probably going to make it even harder to talk a guy into naming our baby that!
I am in love with this post lol.
Well, I had a schoolmate in high school named L-Ladea (pronounced El-La-Deya)! 🙂 But I wasn’t surprised when you mentioned Wednesday. Remember Wednesday Adams? And I know someone whose name is June Nine Wednesday, she’s actually in college already and she’s really quite an achiever! So many weird names especially here in our country. By the way, I’m April Grace but my nickname’s Apple! 🙂
Wow you certainly have allot of comments…. some freaky names there, maybe you should go with something slightly less abnormal, and none with a copyright sign in them!!!!!!! Well done and happy naming!!
Reblogged this on Diary of a College Undergraduate and commented:
There are some really weird and funny names in this world!
I once overheard someone in a store talking very loudly over there phone about a person named “Malibu” hmmm I thought that one is not going on my excel spreadsheet of baby names
This is just hysterical! I appreciate the time you took to research these out for us so we could have a laugh…and a cry, perhaps, in sympathy for these poor children!
How about the women who give birth in our hospitals unable to speak english? I’ve heard of mothers naming their children after words they heard frequently while in the hospital. A friend of mine had a boy come to her camp whose mother had named him “Nonsmoking” with emphasis on the first syllable. Also a little girl named “Vagina” What are people thinking?
Great post!
The others to avoid are names that have clear meaning. the Joys I have met have all been miserable, the Graces all clumsy, Charity was was not giving and sadly the little Princess was a snotty nosed little tramp!!
Best of luck with your new arrival!
My wife, Joy, used to hate her first name, because she didn’t feel like she could “live up to it” all the time. When she goofs up big-time, though, she always calls herself “Grace.”
For the record, though, she does live up to Joy. 🙂
Ha ha, that’s hilarious! I like Ampersand as a name, though – but I’d write it all out 😉
I satisfy my hunger for weird names by giving them to my characters (who have to live with things like Fyodor Rimiinsky, Hettie Jaelin, and Nim), but I still harbour a wish to name a son ‘Ianto’. By the time I’m old enough to have children, though, I expect I’ll have grown out of that… maybe.
I know a lady called Nim….she’s in her 90s.
This guy’s thirties, flies a pirate zeppelin.
So I work in child support and you can imagine that I see a whole slew of ridiculousness day in and day out. Keeping in the spirit of your post, here are a few of my faces: Bre-nda (Bray-nuh-duh? Still not sure); Twins, Orange Jello and Lemon Jello (Or-ahn-juh-low and Leh-mon-juh-low); Zxerquasha (Zer-quash-uhh?); La’Xtretic (???).
This post is nice! Parents nowadays chooses non-sense and celebrity names for their babies. They just choose names out of nothing at all.
I’m a teacher, so I’ve heard my share of “interesting” names…One of my faves: Abcde. Yes, like the alphabet, but pronounced “Ah-bee-city.” (Sounds like obesity. Hm.)
MY wife, A first grade teacher in the Bronx, has had kids named Yohinus (Like street version of “Your higness”), Asshole (Pronounced ash-o-lay), Yomajesty (Yohinas’ brother, I shit you not), and yes, she had a female too, but also the brother “male”, and my favorite, the twins from a few years ago Sharrin and not-sharrin. I am not witty enough to be making any of this up. These were all official names. Wow…
ArrogantSOB
arrogant-sob.com
I just had to say that your comment made me spray coffee all over my keyboard….note to self ‘do not drink hot liquid whilst reading comments on a fab blog post’….great comment 😀
Thanks. Come on over to arrogant-Sob.com. I got tons of them…
Think your blog is great! I’m new to wordpress, started my blog yesterday. How do you get on Freshly pressed?
I’m 30 weeks Prego with twin girls (and already have one girl), so we now have two more girl names to find! I will bear your post in mind when making a decision. Another crazy name we came across in the name book is “Conception” – I think that deserves to go on the cruel list too! xx
I worked as an x-ray tech in a hospital years ago and had to call my patient’s name which was: Freelove Huckleby. What was the mother thinking there?
Oh god , you had me bursting out loud in the middle of the night… hilarious! I love
La-a! Go with it please!
we are due with baby boy #2 in 16 weeks. having a hard time deciding on a name. our first boy is Mika (pronounced MeeKah – it’s Finnish for Michael). he gets called Micah a lot. a couple girl names we liked are Anya and Sienna.
people I know with odd names:: Will Power (he’s a driver in the Indy Car series) and Justin Case (a guy I went to high school with). my own name is a bit different – Ardele (kind of like the British singer Adele, but I had my name first). and my mom’s name is Dorita. she had her name before Doritos were invented.
My niece wants to name her first son Justin Case. ha ha, too funny!
This is one great post!
But i still think there’s a limit to name-evolution… No matter how much i prepare, I’ll probably drop my jaw if a teacher says “&, can you come to the front?” !
Otherwise, I’m pretty lucky. My name’s Peter ( normal, family got christian roots , what’s better than one of Jesus disciples 🙂 ), It’s my family name that’s on the limit :
Bock , wich is , i have recently discovered, a popular ( international )beer brand from germany…
My mother stole a glass from a café just because she couldn’t resist…It had our family name on it XD
Congrats on the pregnancy !
And have pity on the little one…try not to make him/her want to strangle you in 20-30 years time ;).
I can only imagine the wedding invitations for “Ampersand”
“We would like to invite you to & & John’s Wedding” Also, there’s a trend of putting a giant & in a frame on Pinterest.
Food for thought.
The basketball play-by-play pregnancy made me laugh out loud this morning.
Hmmm….do you think LOL, BRB, or LMAFO might be the future of names?
I’ve nothing to add regarding names. I just wanted to say that I keep coming back to have a laugh at the baby saying “You named me what!!!”. Absolutely brilliant!
An inexplicably popular girls’ name in the Appalachian region is “Nevaeh,” pronounced “Nuh-VAY-uh,” after which, the beaming-with-pride parent rapidly explains, “It’s heaven spelled backwards.” Which prompted me to come up with “Lleh,” pronunced, “Luh” after which I would explain, well, the obvious.
Now I came to know why babies are so angry… ha ha
Awesome!!! I look at baby names and just laugh so hard. The best for me is Nevaeh. “Heaven” backwards. That started to pop up and take hold about 4 years ago.
I actually like Wednesday! 😛 I could never use it for my own child (my kids are Donovan and Cordelia). But, I have a space in my heart for the Addams family I guess!
I give you guys props for having another surprise baby. I’ve always wanted that feeling of surprise, but at the same time, I am not sure I could fully bond with the baby in utero if I couldn’t call him/her by his/her name. Both of my children were named before or shortly after finding out the gender. Now that I have one of each though, it would be pretty neat to keep it a surprise! We’ll see, I have a few years before #3.
and I about died on Virgin. really?! I could never use Virginia which is completely legit, because of it having Virgin in it… People are crazy.
Naming is a difficult task …..especially nowadays when people travel around the world a lot. If you think your child will ever live in , or even vistit Sweden, PLEASE dont name it Pitt or Pippa …..
But here in Sweden Linnea ( pronounced lean-e-a) is considered as a beautiful name and therfore quite common for women of all ages. It is also the name of a small lovley flower named after the Swedish ” flower king” Carl von Linné , a botanist who laid the foundations for the modern scheme of binomial nomenclature.
I grew up as The White Car “Dwight Karr” “hey the white car, where’s your brother the blue car” is your name Dwight Karr or Duh white Karr? What’s you middle name? My middle name is my Mothers maiden name Dir. So you’re the white Dirrrty car the dirty white car.
But it’s ok I been to counciling and I run a support group ha ha
Thanks for the fun article
I forgot to say too, that I actually know of a “Female”, pronounced as you wrote it, who was around in our elementary school about a decade ago. Sadly, in her case, she was named it because her mother wasn’t too bright and she thought that the nurses named her baby for her when they wrote “female” on her bed tag. So sad…
“Sadly, in her case, she was named it because her mother wasn’t too bright and she thought that the nurses named her baby for her when they wrote “female” on her bed tag. So sad”
This is actually a very old racist joke. I heard it many years ago.
loved the article, especially the basketball analogy!
fav baby name: la-a
Very, very funny. Loving the “&” … I dare you to use that!! Yes, naming our kids is so stressful. I wish you the best of luck!
Some days I just wonder what goes through the mind of some parents. Can you not predict the future when you name your kid something crazy?????????????
I love youtube girl..
I often see the case of people giving such a names to their babies which sound sweet, mainly because the baby looks sweet at the time. It often happens that the name becomes much comical as the person grows older and becomes “more serious”.
I just had to come because I wondered if YOU took that baby picture OR if it was of a child belonging to you. I LOVE IT!!
That copyright symbol is priceless. Why not name your child A#%*b)^?
i am 21 and my husband and i have been married almost a year, but we have been together for almost 4. we started thinking about baby names from the beginning, even though we are *planning* on waiting a few more years. he wants a little girl really badly and picked out the name Emmery Elaine Palmer. haven’t decided on a boy’s name yet, but i want a boy to play football with as my husband and i are HUGEEE football fans, (myself for the Packers and him the Dolphins).
great post by the way!
This is a really cool article! I would name my kid GreyAnne or Grayanne or Grey-anne or something of that variation, just not Grain…
I would name my kid Greyanne or Grayanne or Gray-Anne or some variation of that! It sounds cute and original 🙂 just not grain. I definitely see your point there…
Great article, this has kept me entertained for today!
Love Greyanne.
Hi, well you don’t ahve MINE: I’m “Purificacion Strong”…so what?
When I was at a football camp I met a guy from a rough part of town named “Cocaine”. I always felt this name really limited his career options.
This is a great post! It incorporates all the things roaming around in my household at the moment: a household full of boys (yes, that includes the hubby), March Madness, baby number 3 on the way (yes, another boy), and what to name him. I’ve had a favorite from the beginning but my husband was insistent on making me suffer with his indifference to that name until about two weeks ago when he finally called our little pea in the pod by the name I’ve been dreaming of, subliminally programming into my husband’s head for months now.
But I absolutely love this post about baby names. It really is exhausting (the pregnancy and trying to select a name). Here’s to a great name for that sweet boy or girl on the way… I can’t wait to read about how this all plays out. In the meantime, I’ll be watching the final four with my favorite guys and cheering on our Buckeyes. Good luck to whatever team you’re cheering on and best of luck to you and your wife on getting your kid named.
To extend your metaphor a bit more, you still have a whole other half to go. Take a few timeouts and it will come to you. Best of luck!
hysterical post! thanks. we didn’t find out the sex of our baby and only had names for boys, luckily it was a boy. all the best.
Unbelievable! Isn’t there a law that would forbid names like N/A or names spelled with random, unpronouceable symbols?
But I kind of like Alaska and Cuba. Or why not Arizona or Minnesota? Or Panama or Peru? All of them sound good to me! But New Hampshire wouldn’t really work, somehow…
if I err not, singer Marty Robbins’ wife was Marizona. (Or Merizona?)
But you really shouldn’t have mentioned New Hampshire — now someone will think that ‘s the way to go–or West Virginia.
Bear in mind that in twenty years the States may be at war with Panama or Peru and the poor guy/gal would be hauled in for frequent questionings because of “obvious undesirable allegiance.” Or there may be devastating riots / earthquakes in New Hampshire. The poor kid would be announced as “Here comes the Rebel / Shaker!”
Let’s hope there won’t be a war!
Marizona… hmm… not bad! 🙂
congratulaitions with you baby. baby names is the best gift was first given by the parents.
Hey I have enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing.
I once heard of a little girl named Tallulah Does The Hula. Anytime theres a verb in your name, there’s something wrong
Congratulations on being freshly pressed! I just posted – without having read yours – a very tongue-in-cheek suggestion that the names in the BBC Shipping Forecast would make great kids’ names. Actually, Shannon is fairly common – but look at the rest of them. Now I’m thinking the idea isn’t so farfetched after all!
I recently found out that barrack obama’s chief aide is call Randy Bumgardner. In the uk randy means horny and bum means your backside. So it would be like an American being called Horny Arselandscaper.
I recently found out that barrack obama’s chief aide is call Randy Bumgardner. In the uk randy means horny and bum means your backside. Sit would be like an American being called Horny Arselandscaper.
I heard that in Iceland you are only aloud to pick from a list of Icelandic names. Lucky Iceland has a lot of beautiful names. 🙂
Apparently one of the most common middle names is ‘Danger’
Love reading this blog =) As I am 10 weeks with my first child my husband and I are trying to think of baby names for both girls and boys. Not having much luck with girls names though haha. Hope your wife and baby are doing well. Can’t wait to read about what comes next. Be Safe……
My mom is a teacher, and she’s shared some great/terrible names over the years. The most memorable are Lion (nope, not Leon or Liam, pronounced like the animal), Aquanetta (like the hairspray), and a girl whose last name was Fukalotta.
Jesus said “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things; and evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil things.” You can cite all the scripture in the world, from Paul or from Genesis or Psalms, from the book of Mormon or the Koran or the Zen Avestas or some Buddhist books, the so-called Gospel of Thomas, Manichean scriptures, whatever you want, to allege that everyone is born evil. But you will always have that saying of Jesus standing in your way. As for the evil who out of the evil treasure of their heart bring forth evil things, certainly Calvinists who relish nothing more than condemning babies to hell fit that bill.
The two worst I’ve heard about:
* ‘Tar-Ian’, pronounced ‘tar-dash-ian’. Yikes.
* ‘Rogan Josh’, because the mother saw it written down once and thought it sounded nice. Little did she know she’d seen it on an Indian takeaway menu…
The examples are far better than Ghetto names, that’s for sure. To tell tha truth anythang with La-, Ja-, Ty-, Sha-, TOGETHER with an apostrophe is real f*cking ghetto.
This post is so deserving of a Freshly Pressed status, nicely done! As a mom of a 7-month-old baby boy, I remember going through that whole process, except it was the boy name that my husband and I couldn’t agree on. This was hilarious! Best of luck with finally settling on a name, and of course blessings to you and your wife on the remainder of the pregnancy and the birth of your sweet baby #3!
When pregnant I was quite interested in new mothers. Standing in the queue at Starbucks one morning I asked the lady in front of what she had called her new baby.
Mother: “Jezebel, it’s a Bibilical name.”
Me astonished, “Yes, and are you going to call her Jessie?”
Mother: “No, just Jezebel.”
Me curious: “Do you know who Jezebel was in the Bible?”
My husband started trying to forcible remove me from the store around now knowing where this was going.
Me loudly as I was propelled out the door: “She was the whore of Babylon!”
I still maintain I did her a favour.
This seems to be cute and funny, but weird too! If I were a mother and I would be giving a name to my child already, I think I have to consider how my child would feel if he/she had such weird names.
I’ve thought of a weird name: “I don’t know”
What’s your name? “I don’t know.”
Oh goodness!
I may not have a pretty name though, but I am happy with it. 🙂 _r”,)
I know these kids all personally and I go back and forth on whether I like their names or not – 1) Lyden, 2) Gryphon, 3) Lyric – today I like Lyric best of the three. And I love Rylen though my ex-husband vetoed it when I was pregnant. I have two girls – Montanna and Brianna…..taken as individuals it’s fine, but when we introduce them together it’s actually fairly cheesy….and to be honest I didn’t even realize it until my youngest was about 2….mommy blinders….that’s my excuse…
My mom named me after Queen Celeste from the Babar books. I used to be embarrased by it but now I think it’s funny that she named me after that. 🙂
I am a teacher in and inner city district, and three years ago we had an assembly for Honors and perfect attendance. The pre-school class came up and our principal announced, “And the award for PERFECT attendance goes to….. APPLEBOTTOM!!”…… of course this is when the infamous radio song was a hit and I leaned over to my coworker and said, “Let me guess… her brother’s name is ‘Boots wit da Fur’?”
And the la-a, I have heard of this before. Working in inner city has really opened my eyes.
My named me, at least my fourth middle name is her contribution, Celeste after a Queen Celeste in the Babar books. LOL! It’s funny now that I think about it. 🙂
Hehehe, I snuck in with another comment. I’m trying to push you to 1,000 for this post!
It’s funny, I have had a rough draft in my post lineup for a couple of months on stupid baby names! I’m lovin’ yours.
Congratulations!
There was a Philip Morris at a school I taught at. A Dumatra and Sumatra, a pair of twins. Shasta Daisy and Rainbow Sunshine.
I laughed reading this. I needed on, so thanks!
This article was flipping hilarious!! I literally had to laugh out loud. La-a????? &??????????? REALLY???? They are all really bad jokes and possibly the single most important reason why mothers shouldn’t be allowed to name their newborns until the epidural wears off.
Your last comment was priceless! Thanks!
Hahaha doesn’t being Freshly Pressed throw you for a loop! When I was FP I was so confused and a little overwhelmed.
Your post has be sitting in bed laughing hysterically. I love what you did with the &, and I will keep that in mind when it comes time for me to have my first child.
Maybe I’ll just name it “!”
Brilliant work. Well done!
Getting in on Freshly Pressed is really awesome! Spent an hour reading through the comments alone! Nice!
Congratulations on your third baby! Like someone said earlier, yes, 10 fingers and 10 toes is VERY important. Hopefully, the baby also has all body parts complete. 😀
I pity the people who got played with their names, which leads me to my contributions. In my country, I’ve heard of brothers who got named “King,” “General,” and “Attorney.” Imagine the teacher in their class shouting out names for attendance… King (insert last name here)… Present! General (insert last name here)… Present! Attorney (insert last name here)… present… ok. That’s just plain funny (I would dare say terrible though since the kids MIGHT just enjoy the attention).
Yep, I went to a military college and there was a guy there named “General.” He was a private though. Seeds for confusion.
I’ve heard ABCDE-pronounced Ab-se-dee. Seriously. I feel bad enough that my son’s initials are ICP! LOL
How about Interrobang…she can be questionable surprise!?
I grew up with a boy called Walter Melon…what were his parents thinking!!!
It’s amazing how weird names get these days. :S
I named my daughter Ella it’s an old name. Love it. Also love Mariam… 🙂
I’m using a hot spot now and a man here said he went to school with a girl named Ellie Phant. “Elephant!” He said she was also fat.
.
Ella in Spanish means “she.” It is pronounced “e-yah” (short e sound).
CHEVY Chase!
Coming from the Vietnamese culture where “Bich” is a common first name, I’d take ‘&’ anyday.
My real name is actually America, it’s not *that* bad (I was born in ’76). There are worse possibilities for sure.
Congrats on being freshly pressed and baby number three. I have seen some CRAZY names for babies. The most recent? And you won’t believe this, and I wouldn’t either if I didn’t see it. But the baby was named Placenta……yes….and after the actual placenta she was born from. Nice huh? I am really surprised though it wasn’t written P’lacenta. Would have been more modern in my opinion.
omg! R u serious? This is just beyond pathetic. 😦
I wish I was kidding lol……
Choosing baby names is such a challenge! We were like you and had a girls name picked out from the first day, (Savannah Rose) but along came Max John, took forever to come up with a boys name we could both agree on.
My mum is a teacher, the funniest/worst whe’s had would have to be the two sets of twins she had one year called: Benson and Hedges, and Harley and Davidson.
I also know someone with the last name Power, first name Starr.
I like unusual names, but not too out there, though I do think there’s a reason that traditional names have managed to become traditional names rather than being phased out through the passage of history.
I did always laugh at the idea of calling a kid Jon[09qrew8yreq/.”p where all bar the first 3 letters are silent
Name her Noxima. Maybe WD-40. How about Subway?
Your baby picture is totally awesome!!!
Congratulations to you both on your 3rd!!! I’m not yet pregnant, but starting to think of baby names, and I and my husband both like “Andala” for a girl. It’s Arabic and it means “song of the nightingale.” I was thinking it would be easy to call her “Andi” or “Andy” for a nickname. 🙂
Cuba in language Malaysia is mean “try”
Reblogged this on paintboxtalks.
Ahhhh I love the sports metaphor! This begs the question: how far are parents willing to go in order to make sure their child NEVER meets anyone with the same name so that they can always tell their little cherub “there’s no like you in the whole world. your name is like a snowflake.” The novelty keeps one engaged at first, but then it’s just a pain in ze rear.
But then, PEOPLE are all different and no one is exactly alike. Maybe the parents are trying to raise a little narcissist?
This is awesome!
I gave my daughter a simple, elegant, feminine name, Nicholle. When she grew up, she named her business “Nee-sho-lay” Skin Care.
My late father-in-law was given several Catholic names as a child; Philip, Joseph, Anthony Pflug. As a grown-up, when asked his name, he introduced himself as Phillipe Jospeha Antonio Pescquale Falooge.
A friend’s granddaughter is named “Nevaeh” (Heaven spelled backward).
Years ago, I worked with two clients with interesting names; Will Barrow and John John Johnson.
It is in my best interest to appreciate unique names.
~Gerean (a combination of my father’s and mother’s names; Gerald & Betty Ann, pronounced Jer-ee-uhn)
PS~ I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. Thanks for the entertainment!
Haha imagine being named “&” ..
“My name is Ampersand”
“How do you spell that?”
“Like the symbol…”
My husband and I could never settle on a girl’s names either. Luckily we ended up with 2 boys. My mother told me that the name “Fee-Mah-lay” came from no English speaking people who could not fill out their birth certificates. On the line that specified the name nurses would just write “Female” or “Male” , and some groups assumed that a name had been assigned to their child. There are apparently Mah-lays running around too. Though this could just be some sort of urban legend.
Best of luck to you and your wife!
One of my favorite stories from my mother’s student teaching days: She had a little girl in her class named Placenta. Oh yeah. No, it wasn’t a Spanish name, I have a Mexican friend named Placencia. That’s different. No, this poor child’s name was Placenta Jones. Little white girl with blonde pigtails, mom said.
My fiance’s niece’s name is not very common. Erith. I feel like I’m lisping when I say that. My fiance and I call her Pinky. He says he’s waiting for one of his relatives to name their kid Shaqua Niqua or Shenanigans. He says he will disown whoever does.
Eris was the Greek goddess of chaos.
This post reminded me of an article I read recently about names that were outlawed in certain countries. Unlike America, the rest of the world seems to have some pity for unborn babies and have laws that say you can’t name your child anything that would be harmful to them later on in life – ie really weird names that would get them unfairly teased. Some were a bit crazy, though, and the countries actually had a list of names you could choose from.
Either way, good luck! I don’t see Wednesday, Cuba or Chevy being too weird (celebrity references!) or Albina (as long as you don’t worry about the meaning, it sounds nice,) but I have noticed that weird symbols are finding a place in names and its a bit unsettling. Good luck to the kids trying to not only learn the alphabet but how to spell their name with symbols!
My sister named her baby, Madden…. after John Madden the football guy. 🙂
loving your post and well done on FP. i went with ordinary names for my four but they suit each child. i have a Sebastian Thomas Peter, a Shannon Julie Eva, a Shayne Peter Aaron and a Sonni James Preston.
congratulation on baby number 3 and hope the rest of the pregnancy goes to plan.
Laura 🙂
Wonder what a kids teacher would do if the kids name was n/a?
I once met a guy whose name was Engine. For real, it was his birth name! Not surprisingly though, he was Italian.
hahahaha im enjoying this post. its so funny ahaha …
Hahah! Your blog is great and so funny! Congrats on being freshly pressed-we’re following you. 🙂
2chicgurls
2chicgurls.com
My name is Lacey Tyre (pronounced Tire) I was named after my grandfather’s tire store in Lacey Township, New Jersey. My sister was named “Zusie” after my grandmother.
In England, Tyre is what you put on a car wheel…it’s also a city in Lebannon.
My Dad’s family is Irish, that’s why they spelled it that way. I once told my Dad that Tyre is a city pronounced Tear. (I taught a student from Lebanon who told me that) He said, “well, you’re Anglo-Saxon and it’s Tire”
The name LinnÄ©a isn’t that good.. but change the Ä and the © with an é. Then you’ll have the name Linnéa, wich is my name (and I’m a girl) and I don’t think it’s that common other than in Sweden, where I’m from. The name is originally from a guy though who is called Carl von Linné (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Linnaeus). He got a flower named after him called Linnéa (Latin name: Linnaea Borealis). And his family name “Linné” came from a lime tree.
It’s a nice name isn’t it? The flowers are pretty too and I think americans call them “twinflower”.
Take care!
/Linnéa
I think it’s quite probable that the name was not “LinnÄ©a” but something less… weird such as Linnéa, the copyright symbol resulting from reading a webpage written with an incompatible codification (which often causes some signs such as letters with diacritics to be displayed wrongly)
Linnèa is also common in Norway 🙂
Parents shouldn’t be allowed to choose names? Maybe not just parents.
In the Harare Herald, July 1986, under legal notices, it is recorded that Johnfart Mapurazi changed his name.
… to Johnfart Kapfunde.
If I knew how to scan and attach the newspaper cutting, I would.
My father worked at the UofC hospitals and brought home this one:
A woman gave birth to a little girl, looked at her own medical chart and decided the baby’s name would be Gonorrhea (pronounced guh- NOR – ee – uh) cause it looked pretty! Faceplant!
nooooooo!!!!!
“and decided the baby’s name would be Gonorrhea (pronounced guh- NOR – ee – uh) cause it looked pretty! Faceplant!”
I guess nobody wants Gonnorrhea?
SO what do you think of Blue Ivy?
Great Post. Congrats on the little one on the way! My sisters name is Lara and she is always up set that people call her Laura. She’s constantly saying “it is pronounced Lah-rah” (no pronunciation on the ‘-‘ though, lol). You would think that people could get this name right since it is said exactly as it is spelled. lol Goes to show that simple isn’t always better; people can mess that up too! lol
I love the name Emma- Leigh. Pronounced as one name to say ‘Emily’. The reason for the spelling is that one name would then honor two of my family members in one go! I plan on having a big family but I have a huge extended family so in order to honor all of the family members that i would like to I have to have as many combos as possible! lol.
I wish you and you family many blessings with the new addition–Whatever you decide him or her!
Oh so happy I found you. Damned awesome. Had me laughing out loud like a psycho! So my suggestions are:
almonde – hippy accent on the final e, pronunciation french style emphasis on onde
rat or ‘furryrat’ – no comment, by why not????
duck pond – emphasis on the pond, not duck. Once again, french pepe le pie accent!
Look forward to more! Great stuff! xxx
Hey, since your a sport lover, you might like what my good guy friend in high school decided he wanted to name his first kid, whether it was a boy or a girl:
Espn.
“You say it like, Espin!”
Somehow, years later, I don’t think he’s changed his mind.
You can always do what I did… I convinced my wife to name my daughter after a deep space nine star trek [ female ] character: Keira Nyress. She wasn’t happy with it at first but I thought it would grow on her. We thought atleast no one else would have her name… I was wrong, I now see movie star and other children who have keira as their name… oh well, she is still my baby girl…. LOL
Hmm. Keira Knighley was born in 1979, it’s no new name. Here in Germany we habe the name Kira, pronounced exactly the same. I know one Kira born in the 60th.
Oh! &! I love &!!! I’m gonna try to convince one of my daughters to name her baby &!!! Her middle name can be @!!! (just kidding)
I like names that are not overly common but not freakishly unusual. I don’t want ten kids to answer when my kid’s name is called, but I don’t want people to be like WTF either.
For my girls I picked the names Kaila, Darcee and Autumn. My granddaugher is named Ivy, and my two unborn granddaughters will be named Olivia and Alanna. I dunno if any of those names jump out at you but just to give you some ideas.
I was one of four Chris-variants in my elementary school class. It only got worse as I grew and my cousin Chris in the same town with the same last name (other gender) entered the same circles. Fast forward to first pregnancy. We chose Lauren. I’d never known a Lauren. Turned out to be the 20th most popular girl name the year we used it. Sigh. One day as I chatted with a fellow Mom as our Laurens rammed around. As it was time to go, I hollered “Lauren Patricia” … thinking I’m so clever to specify MY Lauren.only to have BOTH of them whip around and say, “What?!”
This was so much fun (the basketball metaphor, the names AND the comments)! Congrats to you and your family on your upcoming addition! Congrats on FP, as well! I may have missed it because I haven’t been able to read all of the comments here, but has anyone suggested ” : ” ? Following your train of thought that ‘&’ would be a unique, original choice, I thought it could be ” : ” when written and spoken – “Colon”. What do you think?
lol! Sorry! That’s awful, I know! It was the first thing that crossed my mind after I finished reading your explanation of “&”. Great post! 🙂
I had a neighbor who named her son Colin, but pronounced it COH linn, until someone pointed out that was where poop came from, then she switched to CAH linn.
Hehe, that was a great baby shot! Congrats on FP. I think the Linaka name sounds like a pharmaceutical personally but I’m sure that there’s worse. 😉
My daughter is in daycare with a boy named Sovereign. I’m not sure of his last name but I’m crossing my fingers that it’s Nation.
Best comment ever!
I saw the baby’s face on Freshly Pressed and I just had to read…haha
I’m re-reading all the names above – some how “Darth” ain’t looking so bad 😉
T..
Damn! You have exposed my wicked plot – the idea was that I would get my daughter to name her kids Anaki or Padme – OK, I gave up on “Darth” a while back (but how many kids with mess with him in the playground) 😉 T..
I was plumping for Teal’C for a grandson, but my sil nixed that. Went and named the kid after himself and my husband. LOL
My sisters and I have unusual names and it was both blessing and curse when were growing up… mine is probably the most “normal” – Nina (don’t ask how many times I heard “Oh, Like the Nina, Pinta & Santa Maria?). My sister, Elin, now has famous company in Tiger’s ex-wife (the name is Scandinavian) and my sister, Alyta, has the prettiest name that many people mispronounce (Ah-lee-tah). My husband and I were fighting over the boy’s name on the way to the hospital with our first – thank goodness she came out a girl and solved that dilemma!
If I were to write all the awful names I’ve heard, I’d be typing for hours! Let me give you the ones off that stand out most for me:
Infiniti – a girl in one of my classes. I’m not kidding.
Tekeevia Lajoseialan and Akeevia Lajoseia (twin siblings)
Aniyia
Takia
Starkenya
Xanax (Dead serious! I met a boy with this name!)
Foxxi, Roxxi and Sexxi (okay, Roxxi’s not bad, but the other two? I’d say so. And their last name was Stoner)
Cinderella Sunshine (Again, I’m dead serious. I wish I was joking)
I actually know a guy by the name of Chevy. I’ve also known of someone named Trouble. Who names their child what they don’t want to deal with later on? I wish some people would think about the weight of a name before thinking they’re cute, clever, or unique. Being unique should not entail ridicule or constant questioning!
I once had to stop a couple, whose last name was Dick, from naming their daughter Avalon. Avalon Dick. No joke.
On another note, a few months ago I overheard a woman on the bus tell someone her baby’s name is Vendetta. I’m still trying to figure that one out.
I once worked with a man named Dick Twogood. Really.
Hubby went to school with Harry Cox.
I had a friend, “Dick Foote.”
.
My gf made a really funny list of “Baby Names We Must Not Use With Our Last Name.”
Okay, those three posts just made me laugh so hard I started tearing up! By the way, I’ve seen Harry Cox before. In fact, I saw the name about 3 nights ago on some show I was watching (it was in the credits). Poor guy!
Hopefully, his real first name on the birth certificate is “Richard” and “Dick” is just a nickname. 😀
So, I saw that someone caught Cuba Gooding Jr. for you already (as well as Wednesday from the Addams Family, but I think she was supposed to be weird anyway, so I don’t know if I’d count that)… seems that you also missed Chevy Chase.
Also, I think it is hilarious that you had no problem finding a boy’s name, but can’t decide on one for a girl. My husband and I had the opposite problem. We had a girl’s name picked out since, really, before I was even pregnant. At 20 weeks, we found out we were having a boy (and, since my husband was convinced we were having a girl, we didn’t both picking out a boy’s name), and it took us another few weeks after that to finally settle on a name. Luckily, at 30 weeks now, the name is ready to go and has been met with approval by pretty much everyone we’ve told (not that it matters to us, but how often can you say that?!).
Great post, which made me think of Shia LaBeouf, whose name means “thank God for beef.”
“Asked what he would say to parents planning to give their kids strange names, LaBeouf says, ‘Name your kid Billy and Timmy! What is the problem with that?’
“Obviously, Nicolas Cage doesn’t agree with LaBeouf. Cage just named his son Kal-el after the name Superman was given when he was born on Krypton.”
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/9581719/ns/today-entertainment/t/shia-says-no-weird-baby-names/
Lovely post! Yesterday my friend showed me a photo of her beautiful, pudgy newborn nephew called… (drumroll)… VIPER.
I went to elementary school with a girl named Saskia. … Viper? Yoiks. I’m rethinking my “what were they thinking?” about other kids in my school, like Merri Merriweather and the 3 sisters Merry, Sunny and Gay.
Saskia ist a very ordinary name in the Netherlands. Rembrand’s wife was called like this.
LOL! I once worked with a lady named Rose Mary Rose. I asked her about that. She said it was a blind date with George Rose and thought “It can’t happen!” It did happen and now they are married.
.
When I was a kid, we went to a hairdresser named Patty Patte. Later though, when my aerobics teacher, Amy, married Walt Amey, she decided to keep her maiden last name LOL.
My sister, Darlene, married Steve Darley and took his last name. Since we called her Dar when we were kids, I think of her as Dar Darley, but the Darleys tend to go the whole nine yards and saw Darlene Darley.
Speaking of bad names, you’ll love this article: http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/blogs/yahoo-lifestyles/10-illegal-baby-names-194006397-3.html?fb_action_ids=10100984761227502&fb_action_types=news.reads&fb_source=feed_news
Somebody actually tried naming their baby “Smelly Head!”
Great read. Congrats on being pregnant! My wife is due with our first on May 22. A baby girl. We decided to announce the name of our future baby since my cousin’s wife is pregnant as well. Were going with my grandmothers name, Stella. And since my wife dropped her middle name when we married; it was a no brainer to give it to future Stella. The funny thing to me is once we decided on the name, I’ve been seeing it everywhere. Crazy.
Cheers!
Great post – hilarious. Best wishes to you and your wife.
I once met twins named:
Orange Jello (boy), pronounced, “Orangelo,” and, Lemon Jello (the girl), pronounced, you guessed it, “Lemongello.” Put an emphasis on the 2nd syllable of each ‘name’ please. And I also met a little girl named “La’trine,” – enough said.
That is truly sad. It’s like DaNiece and DaNephew. Except those were the punch line in a joke.
Wow! I was just about to write about twins with those exact same names…wonder if they’re the same ones, or if there are multiple sets of unfortunates. My sister’s friend used to teach elementary school and those were not the worst names. She also had a Shithead (pronounced “Shuh-THADE”) and at least one Asshole (“a-SOLE-ee”). Personally, I think that’s child abuse.
on another note, when I got married, I wasn’t allowed to turn my maiden name into a middle name, unless I wanted to give up the middle name I already had!
I swear I used to know this kid called “Gift”.
In South Africa Gift is quite a common name in some cultures… Along with Surprise, Sorry, Precious and Apologise…
I’ve heard a few weird stories about names that are probably urban legends.
One is ‘Syphilis’. The person uses C. Phylis as an adult.
The other is ‘Nosmoking’. Nos-mo-king.
Another is “Orangejello” or-on-gell-o
I actually know someone named “Icylou” (eye-si-lou). Supposedly this was an ingredient written on a bag of animal feed. I was always called by my middle name my whole life, and I was traumatized whenever a substitute teacher would call me by my first name in school, so I can only imagine how tough it must be for a kid to have a weird name.
Intersting and funny article, keep sharing. Thanks and good luck.
That has to be the most AWESOME picture of a baby I have ever seen! When I see the babies in the hospital, they are usually giving me that face thinking: You are going to put that probe where???? Great post!
Hilarious and quite refreshing! My husband and I had fun naming our twin girls and son, but hearing some of the suggestions was definitely “eye-brow raisers”. Let’s just say, we took the route our kids appreciate 🙂
Thanks for the great post!
I agree look those name Apple and Blue OMG!
Here are some of my favorites from celebrities:
Kal-El (Nicholas Cage’s son)
Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow’s son)
Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon’s son)
Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson’s son)
All of these are tragic, but very much true.
Bad as those all may be, Jermajesty is the one that really made me cringe. I mean, really? Jermajesty?
Agreed, that one is on a whole different playing field. But Audio Science…that’s just ridiculous!
Don’t forget the name Moxie Crimefighter Jillette (daughter of Penn Jillette) when discussing
interestingjust plain weird celebrity baby names!Some people are so megalomanic it’s just crazy. Haven’t thay out-lawed some of the weird names in the US or someting? Maybe they sould.
Luckily, the babies have a way out of weird names when they grow up. The law gives them the right to change it if it is unusually long or embarrassing — for a fee.
God bless America. Hmm.
All I can think is that Wednesday probably owes its popularity to The Addams Family.
I suggest not going with a name from a language not common in your area. My mother went French (which is fine on its own, as she’s Acadian) for me, and it was really frustrating given that I grew up around mainly anglophones. Constantly having to correct spelling and pronunciation, and if I hear that it’s ‘pretty’ one more time …(sorry, but hearing that from every. single. person. you. meet. gets really old after a while)
Good point. I don’t think we’ll venture outside of our own native language…unless we go with the universal language of numbers. How does Fortytwo sound?
Cute. Very cute.
What about naming her “Wordslinger”. Then you could have the confusion of two of your babies with the same name…LOL
Haha, now that idea has promise! Thanks for the comment!
I have a teacher whos nome in Mike Hunt, now say it fast and realise how dumb those parents must have been. haha
It is shocking to me how many people are named Michael Hunt. I mean how hard is it to figure out that its just not going to be good for him.
I knew a guy whose original last name was Sass. His mother named him John but called him Jack. He went through the ARMY as Jack Sass, before he got it legally changed.
I would totally call my kid ‘&’! (Joke!)
I’m still counting that as a vote for Ampersand!
Ampersand is a boy’s name…
My personal favorite is Rowan for a boy, but I have never had any good ideas for girls names. Abina sounded nice, but you’re right, it is oddly specific…
Wasn’t Rowan a name in the Lord of the Rings trilogy? Either a person or a place?
That’s Rohan (the plains of, the riders of, the king of..).
It’s the place where the horse lords or Rohirrim live.
Rohan was the name of one of the nations of Middle Earth. I’ve actually heard Rowan as a girl’s name, it’s a mountain-ash plant.
Sounds possible, but you may be thinking of Rohan, the country in LOTR (and I’ve definitely met a dude named Rohan)–but I like Rowan because it’s a tree name, myself.
Rowan in the first name pf the current Archbishop of Canterbury….then there’s Rowan Atkinson, the comedian.
To me “Rowan” sounds like a girl’s name rather than a boy’s name….just my feeling.
The Rowan is a tree that is thought to be about gathering all wisdom.
So a boy named Rowan might follow a scholarly path if he were to be like his namesake.
If, on the other hand, he were to be the opposite, as an earlier commenter suggested was the case, he would run screaming from every opportunity to learn anything.
A regular Rebel without a cause….
That would be James Dean.
Dean is a nice male name.
I never had any boys, but if I had, I wanted to name one Eli. or Cory
I had five girls, named Angela Coryn, Lacy Jennifer, Bethany Christina, Emily Maria, and Naomi Mercedes (Spanish for Mercies – it was a girls name first – the car was named after the girl)
You never know what’s going to come along and upset a carefully thought out name.
Congratulaitons on your FP status. Great Baby pic!
But then you never know what might happen—- a mate of mine called his kids Bill & Ted BEFORE the film . . .
And even though it’s spelled differently I suffered a lot when Roland Rat appeared on UK TV . . . . .
Keanu Reeves has no idea the damage he’s done.
This is brilliant!
Why thank you!
That is a lot of odd names! I am not sure about this but I guess something has to be wrong with the name LinnÄ©a. I know a name which is a bit more…hmm…normal, quite unusual but still a name, that is Linnéa (Linn-eee-ah) and it is a flower name (google it if you’d like to see). Best of wishes to you and your family and congratulations to the baby on the way! 🙂
Thanks for the congrats. I’ve been told by several commentors that LinnÄ©a was likely a screw up by the computer. I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little disappointing.
Haha I can understand that, LinnÄ©a was a very unusual name 🙂
Our family name is Hyde, and my dad very seriously toyed with the idea of naming me Formalda thus leading to Formalda Hyde. My sister narrowly escaped being named Jerusha, though it’s her middle name now. I don’t think any of us knows where it comes from. To be honest my real name, Aislinn, makes people panic anyway. Most people call me Ass-Lan or Iceland…{sigh}
Thats a cool name, sounds like the lion for the CS Lewis books “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe”. Glad to hear you escaped Formalda Hyde!
It’s actually pronounced Ace-Lynn but when I was little I liked to pretend I was Aslan cuz that seemed way cooler. I also went through a phase where I asked people to call me Rebecca cuz it was so much simpler than trying to explain my real name. ha.
Our family last name is Hyde and my dad toyed very seriously with naming me Formalda, then I’d be Formalda Hyde. That’s a fun one. Though to be honest Aislinn isn’t that much better, it makes everyone panic when they see it. My sister narrowly escaped being named Jerusha, my mother was pretty intent on having it be her first name, now it’s her middle name. I still have no idea where it comes from.
I think Jerusha is a Biblical name (OT). At least the character so named in the movie Hawaii based on the book stated that. Don’t know where in the OT.
HAHA!!! That’s funny. I’m sure someone is bound to come across your blog and think, “Hmmm, ‘&,’ that sounds like a great name!” But really, parents need to be more careful when they are naming their kids. These names will most likely stick with them for the rest of their lives. My real name is not as horrible as the ones on the list you made, but it is hard to pronounce. People have all manner of trouble pronouncing and spelling my name and sometimes I just give up correcting them. So I think parents really need to think long and hard about the names they give their children…. and also give them many names so that if they hate the first name you give them, they can have something to fall back on.
Haha, thats the answer. Give the kid like 6 or 7 names so they can rotate them in and out, you know, keep people on their toes!
lol fantastic. We have a few not so great names at the nursery where I work but nothing along those lines. My favourite normal but not is Teylaa…imagine a Brummie accent and you can see why her parents decided that was how Taylor is spelt!
We also have a parent with 6 kids all named Sha- something. We have Shamiyah (girl) and Shamiyal (boy) at the nursery at the moment
Reblogged this on The Bohemian Home Journal and commented:
I have often thought this myself.
Thanks alot!
hilarious post! worthy of a fresh press
and reminds me of Louis CK’s “you know there are no laws when it comes to naming your kid? There should be a couple of laws..” (:
good luck with the choice-
I went to school with a girl named Arabia and all her family had names like that: Italia, Francia, Grecia.
My sister had classmates, two sets of sisters: Marxa and Sovietica (I guess their parents liked the USSR or something), and the unfortunates Gomorra and Sinai.
Mesiah. That one will always be a memory. I also have experienced: DeIvory and DeOvery (that’s how they sound), Spontaneous, , Sincere, Queen, Sister, and Naturala. Personally, my daughter is Chenielle (after her dad’s sweaters) and my friend’s son is Paisley (after his dad’s shirts).
course it helps if I add the link to the article.http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1989-08-30/entertainment/8901090034_1_cecil-milo-club-kids
I remember when this article came out. The name Cecil Clorox has been burned into my retinas. My girls have old family names, so when you say their names out loud it sounds like we are at a nursing home.
the picture in your post (and as seen from FP) was enough to make this post hilarious and well worth reading. congrats!!
cute, love the pics!
It’s cool you guys have gone both routes before in deciding how you found out your children’s sex. The journalist in me had to find out my son’s gender before he was born. My husband was going to try and hide it from me.
My husband’s sister is a nurse. She has said she’s seen “Female” on the birth certificate more times than she cares to count.
Great post!
The worst I ever heard (from a teacher) was Mount Albert Roundabout, At least they shortened it to Albie in daily use, but still. Apparently she asked the mother, it was where he was conceived.
Haha! Brilliantly written! By the way, where did you get the picture of that angry kid! OMG!
I know a girl that wants to name her kids King and Boss. Imagine trying to discipline those two
And oddly enough, I have a friend named “Boz” (pronounced like “boss” since most people find the z taxing to say *sigh*). Anyway, it’s funny to think that my friend’s boss calls him with his name, reversing their roles. LoL!
Reblogged this on Write a blog on a log, Sam I am and commented:
LOL. Needs more Shadynasty.
LOL… as I read the responses to this post my side hurts from laughing… Some of the names I’ve heard of are Ozvalda, Precious, Patience, Passion, Ignatious, Moon Unit, Coco Chanel, Rainbow, Shaniqua… I could go on, but I’ll stop there.
Greta post. The problem I see with a bad baby name is, well the kid grows up and then…that his/her actual name. Very cruel indeed!
Great post! The horrible baby name phenomena his been played out long enough!
I thoroughly enjoyed your post! I have an unusual name and also bestowed unusual names on my children (although we gave them normal middle names in case they couldn’t stand our creativity!). We also didn’t name them after objects or symbols. Aside from the occasional miss-pronunciation, things have gone pretty well. My daughters have embraced their names and I have never met another person in my 46 years who shared my name! – Best of luck, Mala
As a Dave, I meet other Daves all the time. It brings us together. We’re unique despite sharing a name. Heck, there’s even a Dave Navarre who lives near me.
HAHAHAH! This is awesome and so funny at the same time. I like the one you made up “&” pronounced like something it’s totally not. Great laugh to start my Friday and Freshly Pressed worthy indeed!! Congrats on the baby!
Oh, please, justalittlebrit. “…like something it’s totally not.” Really? That symbol, &, is actually called an ampersand. You had to get on the interwebs to read the original post. Next time you see something you don’t know about, could you look it up before you comment? Thanks!
Sure thing! Learn something new everyday 🙂 Pretty sad I didn’t know what it meant, I thought that it was just a funny post. Oops but it still is a very funny post! I definitely was NOT trying to insult anybody just didn’t know. Have a great day!
But & is an ampersand. How could that be “something it’s totally not”. I think I’m going to name my next dog Ampersand, spelled &.
Haha this was an honest mistake, I was the idiot that did NOT know what it meant. My apologies!
In justalittlebrit’s defense, in Latin, the ampersand symbol stands for “et” (meaning “and”) and the actual lines of the symbol looks like the cursive capital E and the diagonally crossing lines stand for the t. She already apologized, and let’s just leave it at that.
That symbol actually is called an ampersand…but yeah, not the common association for the symbol.
Oh my, apparently I need to go back to grammar school :-O! I had no idea that’s what it was called. Still hilarious!
Again, in justalittlebrit’s defense, the name “La-a” shouldn’t really be said with “dash” in it since the dash is made with 2 hyphens (during the typewriter days) and is longer than the normal dash. If it’s just a short “-,” then it should really be said as “La-hyphen-ah.” As you see, she doesn’t really be persecuted as much. We make mistakes.
All the same, she’s right when she said that this is a really funny post!
Wow, sorry we all piled on.
Chad, I think if I meet La-a, I will call her “La-hyphen-a” once, just to even things out with Brit.
a few years ago there was a story in the paper about a couple who named their son Drew Peacock (say it aloud) and even when they realised what they’d done, they decided not to change it – bit cruel for the kid growing up!
Names must always be considered with last names, even the non-unique ones. Hubby’s name is Button, and though I really like the name William, I can’t risk the poor kid being called ‘Billy Button’. So before we even try, there are a bunch that are just off the table to start with.
Button Gwinnett is a signer of the Declaraton of Independence!
Reblogged this on Kmareka.com and commented:
Funny post about baby names!
No lie… I know a La-A. That’s how she spells it. And it’s pronounced Ladasha. I also went to school with a girl who spelled her name SLYVIA….but pronounced it Sylvia. Sad days. Very sad days….
Hahaha!!! Sad days indeed…
I keep asking my pregnant friends to name their baby Janessa or Jaren- my kids’ names- I don’t know what I want someone to do this- probably because I want someone else to love my choices so much that they’ll name their first born child Janessa or Jaren- Great Read!!
Well,the names are stunning,but how about this one,”A-girl!!!”
Try being a teacher – virtually every name has now been tainted, because it’s impossible to think of one that doesn’t have some memorable personality traits (good or bad) attached to it forever.
I think car names are hilarious— Such as Mercedes….
Mercedes isnt really a car name. Is in Spanish. Is because of The Virgin of Mercedes… La Virgen de las Mercedes. Mercedes means mercy.
oh that makes it sound much more beautiful. I kinda like it now.
Actually, Mercedes is a common hispanic name especially in El Salvador
I learn something new everyday. Thanks for letting me know.
Are you being ironic? The name Mercedes was originally the name of the daughter of Emil Jellinek who was involved with Mr Benz……
very interesting.
I have actually known people who named their child this based on the car. They thought it sounded “rich.” Based on the above comments, the name is quite rich with history. Did not mean offend anyone. Please accept any apology.
I named my daughter, Naomi Mercedes… Naomi is Hebrew for Pleasant, and Mercedes is a girls name in Spanish that means Mercies. Pleasant Mercies.
Not named after a car.
Actually, Karl and Bertha Benz named the early engine and car after their daughter Mercedes.
Perfect narrative- My husband and I are going through our first. Not sure what name to pick yet either. For us, boys are harder to name then girls.
I named my daughter Grace, but my friend named her so Blaze
I’ve got two great (AND ACTUALLY TRUE…seriously) names that I’ve heard from my friends working in NICUs. The first: Shithead. Pronounced shith-eed. Spelled Shithead.
The second one was from a woman entering the hospital with the last name King. According to a friend she couldn’t think of a name for her son on the way, and then a magical little sign led her in the right direction. A few hours later and Nosmo King was born.
Hey parents: THAT’S FOREVER.
Nosmo King was a UK based vaudeville style act . . . .
I come accross alot of strange names in my line of work but these take the biscuit. 😀
I think & is a great name, top of the class in terms of alphabetical order and you would never run out of room on the forms with the tiny boxes.
Yes these are weird baby names. Some of them virtually impossible to pronounce. what about combination first and last names. The notorious case with the last name of Hogg. A Texas coupe named their baby girls Ima. Despite popular belief there was no Ura Hogg. Still Ima Hogg is a terrible name,.
I knew several Kelly Greens and a Hunter Green. Or Rose Bush for that matter.
Congrats on the Fresh Press! I actually did hear of a woman naming her baby Ampersand (spelled out though… apparently she thought it was “pretty” but didn’t know what an ampersand IS to be bothered that she was naming her little girl after punctuation). Leads to a really handy shorthand though…
When naming our kiddos, the big determining factor was how the first name would work with my last name (Feit). There were a handful of names that we had to reject:
http://feitcanwrite.wordpress.com/2012/03/29/rejected-baby-names/
The weirdest named person I know of goes by the name of “Chicklets”. She was a girl in my school and truly hated her name. People used to actually go up to her and ask her why are you called “Chicklets”..and she would immediately start fuming. Really, parents should save their children from a lifetime of embarrassment and name them sensibly even if it has to be unusual.
Hahahaha, I love reading posts like this that just make me laugh. Thanks for sharing and yes, those are some crazy names. Sometimes I wonder…I mean look at celebrities, naming their kids things like “Apple” and “Coco.” Names that I feel are more fitting for a pet.
Kind of funny you mentioned La-a though. I have a friend who knows sisters whose names are La-a and Ta-a. Hahaha.
My parents are both teachers so, needless to say, they have come across many interesting names. One of my favorites was named “Baby Girl”. Not. Lying.
My mother was a secretary at an elementary school…are you sitting down…
Twins named Male and Female. The mother said she was so upset the hospital named her two girls before she had the chance. The names were pronounced Molly and Femolly.
Peach State
I wonder if the N/A’s were stillbirths…
Reblogged this on Tidytots's Blog and commented:
This is a funny look into the everyday lives of moms and dads trying to name their babies. The comments alone are a great read! Enjoy:)
Hope these aren’t repeats. Didn’t see them anywhere…
Some really bad names I’ve run across in various places include:
first name: Dyna middle name: Mite (poor girl)
a lady named Tequila (who had sibs named: Brandy, Jack Daniels, and Jim Beam)
and a lady whose name was Funque Ho (pronounced, yes, as “funky ho” The really sad thing about this is that this is her married name. Apparently whatever she had before was worse?)
Makes me grateful I only got stuck with a common name that 50 billion other people have rather than something “unique”. It’s too easy to slip over the line from “unique” to “hideously terrible”…
I’ve always been partial to the names ‘Primus’, ‘Secundus’, and ‘Tertius’. Though that might give rise to some hurt feelings once they are old enough to understand the meanings.
Oh, and ‘Penelope’ – who wouldn’t love a little girl name ‘Penny’?
I knew a girl called Tertia. Third child, but her siblings did not have consecutive names.
The baby is very cute, I love it.
I have worked as a game announcer for the last 15 years, and I am cursed out by at least one parent at every event due to a botched pronunciation of a player’s name. Basketball games, football games, soccer games, and track meets all feature athletes with names that were spelled phonetically. How am I supposed to know how to properly pronounce “Jakwayza,” “Kiana,” or “Tayquon?”
Nice post! I prefer sticking to usual names though, so that the name will be formal and timeless. Even if there are a lot of Emmas or Williams in this world, so what? Even in Korea, they have 3 singers with the same “Kim Kibum” name and that is all right. So what if there are three Kibums in Korea? As for English names, no big deal with having a formal and usual name and having a lot of namesakes for that matter.
Great post.
I wonder if the poor child I saw at a birthday party once has had her name changed. It came before some very tragic world events and I think her parents should have thought it through some more – Tsunami.
Congratulations on baby #3! I know what you mean though with all the ridiculousness with celebrities naming their children stuff like: Apple, Blue Ivy, Everly Bear and Banjo! It’s like pick a random household object and BOOM baby name!
I like the traditional ones (though yes my name is Daijah – pronounced Deja). But nothing too whacked out that scars your child for life!
Good luck on finding the one that best suits your baby and congratulations on freshly pressed!
I do like Boom though! lol. 😉
I rather like Boom as well.
and not Boomer… just Boom! 😉
Yes Ma’am!
Great blog! There are too many options for the crazies to have a ball! I wonder how many children change their names when they grow up? I spetn my whole life hating my name Emma and wishing I was called Jacquie- quite tragic but I think I had it easy. Hmmmm La-La…..isn’t that a Teletubby?
I think should should give the baby a “normal” name and spell it differently. Such as Madeline could be Madylyn.
Congrats for the toes and fingers, these are very important parts.
The country I live in has very strict rules for registered baby names, you can’t name your kid anything, but some terrible idea can slip over the line: Fradi – this is a football club in Hungary, and some unlucky little boy with this name.
But we have nice ones: Raspberry, Sunshine, Blessing, Flower.
The worst: An italian friend of mine lives in my country for a few years. Her little girl is named Giuseppina, her pet name from her first day is Pina (pee-nah), which is cute, but only outside our borders, because “pina” is a pretty rude word for ehm, the female genital. Nice to shout after the kid on a crowded place…
We have nine children and did some experimenting with names. We named our firstborn, Jolene. She hated it and, after a divorce, had it changed to Jo. The second got Charisma and she loves it.
Our sixth was our boldest choice: A mother’s “Joy” was combined with “A Roe” (from the Song of Solomon). The result – “A Roe, A Joy” – hence “Aroea Joy.” Aroea was also bold in naming her’s. The first one got Cainen Knight. The ink on the certificate was barely dry when someone said, “Oh now we have a Canaanite in the family.”
One I heard about, don’t know if it’s true, was pronounced, “Le-MON-ge-lo”, spelled lemongello. Because it was the first thing his mom ate in the hospital after giving birth.
I heard this one too –although it was twins — Lemongello and Orangegello –
pronounced Le-MON-ge-lo and O-RAN-ge-lo. (Same thing — lemon jello and orange jello). –
You have to admit — that’s unique!
That is so true. There are two twins in my mother’s school where she teaches called Lemongelo and Orangelo — both with the emphasis on the second syllable.
He had a brother “Or-on-ge-lo”, spelled Orangegello.
\
Yes! My friend who worked in a pediatrician’s office met a pair of twin named “Lemonjello” and “Orangello.” AND, someone named their girl “Gonorrhea” because she thought the word sounded pretty!!
I think a really unique name nowadays would be Jane or Sue or Samantha.
I have heard of the lemongello, too; sadly it is all too true!
Dude, great post! You are a good writer, a delight to read (I would caution you on the use of the term “the wife.” It could get you injured severely).
I understand a parent’s desire to make their kids unique (“Unique:” another name I have seen), but parents are idiots. My ‘rents pushed the edge naming me “Clark,” which was unique, and a source of a lot of kidding and teasing as I grew up. “Bill” would have been ok, but, oh well.
However, I think many parents are idiots, saddling their kids with names clearly designed for social statements, or whatever (Moon Unit Zappa, god Slick). Morons. The parent feels all warm inside, like they are cool, and the poor kid has to live with their given name.
We have a kid running around this part of the nation with a name pronounced Shi-theed. It’s spelled Shithead. Really.
Anyhow, I really enjoy your writing, well done. Congrats on the Freshly Pressed. Well deserved!!
Now that was a fun read! we too had a baby just a fortnight ago and i can totally relate to the crazy name suggestions and superbly long shortlists! great going there and wish u both the best for the rest of the pregnancy!
(Christian-Comment) Actually, Ladasha sounds very awesome. Writing it La-a though …
people have weird thoughts.
How about Sarah Palin’s kids names —
Track (reportedly named because of Palin’s love of running)
Trig (as in trigonometry?)
Piper (this one I actually like)
Willow
Bristol
The weirdest names I’ve come across were ‘Pepsi’ (a girl) and ‘A’ (a boy).
I have a friend who claims he wants to name his children Pepsi (yes, children, the plural) we plan to make sure someone stops him if he actually has a kid!
I actually like when people try to be creative and come up with original names. There are enough Sarah’s and Emma’s. That said, some names are just….offensive to my eyes and ears.
If you use one of these “not quite pronounced the way it is spelt” names, beware of relatives who will try and correct your pronunciation choice, or punish your spelling choice, by sticking to a different pronunciation than yours and trying to make it stick.
And yes…I have been there. 😉
Ha ha ha! such nice post! Congrats in advance, dear! Have a happy child! Simply loved your post!
And, do updating us! i would love to know.
I teach Korean kids English, and they all choose English names to use when they’re in my classes. I’ve had a Legendary, a Dragon, a Simba, a Magic and a Pikachu so far – any of those tickle your fancy? I love it when a new student hasn’t got an English name and I can choose for them, although I’ve so far resisted calling anyone Frodo, Bilbo, Boromir, Aragorn, Pippin, Merry, Gandalf, Grimli, Aragorn or Legolas.
Really????? Simba and Pikachu?
Yeah. It’s pretty hard when they misbehave and I have to shout “Pikachu! Sit down!”
I rescue puppies… and I recently informed the family that my next litter will have either Star Wars or LoTR names. My husband thinks I’m crazy. My son loves the idea. My daughters have no comment.
I rescued a pair of pit bull mixes a few months ago and called them Merry and Pippin. It’s sad when you have to explain to people why you chose Merry & Pippin.
Haha that’s great! I know what you mean though when you have to explain. “Oh, um… you really don’t recognise the names?”
You’re a funny man. What are your other kids called?
Opps, now I worry for my woman and our future babies. Alphabet soup must be avoided at all cost during pregnancy
Linnea is a common name in Sweden, in honour of Linneo, an important Swedish botanist. I guess the spelling you found was for some reason modified. I find “Linnea” very beautiful and I know a lovely girl called like that. Have you realized that names get beautiful or ugly depending on the people you know named like that?
Linnea is a common name in Sweden. Linneo was a very important Swedish botanist and is used in its feminine form in his honour. I guess the spelling has been modified in the list you found, but Linnea is a nice name. I know a wonderful girl called like that. (Have you realized that even weird names become beautiful when you know a beautiful person name like that?)
Oh wow. Some of the names you listed, and the ones added? Really, people? “Soulja?” ugh. Add “Bella” to the list of overdone, don’t-everyone-turn-around-at-the-same-time names currently being used. (Just cant bring myself to ever name my daughter after a character in a movie series where the main goal is to have a boyfriend. Just…cant…) The last 3 years I’ve worked in a family portrait studio. The overdones and the whacked-outs are incredible!
I think I’m going to name my child “Ralph.” it will be spelled “Ralph,” but when her name is called in class, she can say, “It’s spelled Ralph, but pronounced “Bella.”)
Great post, congrats of the Pressly Freshed!
http://tr4f.wordpress.com
HAHAHA You had me going “ugh” with “Ralph” then came with “her” and made me roll! Hilarious!
Dug, too funny!
Hi, I risked being called Apollonia, Isotta and Asia – Thanks god my father put his foot down and enforced my name: Olimpia – Ok so its still pretty unique but better than the rest! (at least thats the way I see it) 🙂 Goodluck choosing! And congrats on the freshly pressed!
what has the world come to these days.
but u gotta luv some of the weird ones tho. its either funny or cute but weird.
nice pics! Congrats on the third child. This one could be a game changer for you guys. 20 weeks down, 20 to go. Remember you have to play 4 quarters. Stick to your game plan utilize your time outs well. You’re going to have a tough opponent. Hang in there! 🙂 I’ve got two boys myself. Trying to go 12 rounds with those guys is rough. March Madness, who you routing for? I’ll watch the final four this weekend see what happens.
Haha, this blog is great! Some of those names are awful, really are – could you imagine calling your child any of those names? Well someone must have for them to be in the book right? Crazy really, I wonder what must come across you to call your child that.
Anyway, all the best for the future.
Again, great blog.
I don’t usually post online, but I kept trying to avoid this one and could not. The posts here read as though they were written by a bunch of teenaged girls. Who are any of you to make fun of another person’s name. And for the teacher who posted her students’ names, shame on you. I’m sure that the children felt your ridiclule and you are responsible for that attack in God’s eyes. America is a beautiful country founded on freedom and a respect for individual choices. Some of the names listed are clearly culturally significant to different groups. So should they stick to “Sally, Jane, and Martha” to satisfy the lack of insight of a few ethnocentric “think like me” people?
I agree that a child shouldn’t be named anything abusive or derogatory or embarrassing (A child I knew named “vagina” comes to mind. But our country is more intelligent and tolerant than the comments that I am reading here would imply. By the way, my name is VERONICA. You would be amazed how many people can’t figure out that it is Latin and very much “Western” and ask me how to pronounce it. Is it my name, or is it their ethnically biased eyes that cause their ears to assume that because I’m ethnic, my name is “weird”?
Wake up. We truly do not have forever to get this right.
i remember my first time trolling. Word of advice keep it short next time
Nicely said.
Haha, I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there!
I think the second name is actually Linnéa – but sometimes fonts and coding doesn’t recognize the é and turns it into other weird stuff… So that name might not be as crazy as it seems. The rest of them made me chuckle, tho. 🙂
haha, my favourite is ‘&’, i can just imagine the reaction in my society. amper who??
hahah this is funny , bad baby names can effect a child throughout their lives. I nearly made the same mistake , have a look http://clubcorona.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/best-terrible-and-bad-baby-names/
Well, I guess nobody can beat this: a Portuguese pop actress (Luciana Abreu – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luciana_Abreu) and a footballer (Yannick Djaló – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yannick_Djal%C3%B3) named their first baby “Lyonce Viiktória”, and “Lyani Viiktórya” the second… They said it resulted of their own names, merged. After the event, a website was created, so everybody can “lyoncify” a name. You can try it at http://lyoncificaoteunome.com/, and then share the result.
I think i have the solution to that .I am from Greece in Greece we do this .If it is a girl it will take from the side of your wife mother , for example if your wife mother is annabele , your girl will have the name of annabele .In the other side if it is a boy it will take your father name and it will be (your father name ) easy .
Now the hard part if you have done that and it is a boy it must take your wife father name. First yours Wife parents names and then yours parents .With this trick you will lost conversations like (This was not my choice ) .
I think LinnÄ©a is just a computer not being able to handle the name Linnéa or something… At least I hope so.
I always love people who name their children after inanimate objects – I am not going to name any because I don;t want to be flamed!! but things features on the landscape, blocks of wood etc. Having triplet boys, we found coming up with six boys names (first and middle) really difficult – one was almost called “triplet three”. But my favourite is a woman in the US calle Marijuana Pepsi – the first name is apparently a Puerto rican version of Mary-Jane – but the second? And she is a school counsellor. Seiously. Google it.
May I also advise no hyphenated first names? I’ve got one. Short story: In Vietnamese, it made more “sense” but I can tell you the hassles from having a hyphenated name. Some state’s computer systems (eg. Driver’s license) do not accept hyphens but US passports do. AMEX allows it, some Mastercards, don’t. When I have time not wrasslin’ my 3 kids and not traveling, I will change my name. Congrats to your upcoming bundle and may you be blessed with a healthy baby!
Please look up your future child’s name in a medical dictionary before taking the plunge! My poor niece is named Amelia (means lacking a limb), there’s nurses named Melena (bloody faeces) and children I know named after diseases (e.g. Addison). It’s not fair when they become a health professional (or related to one in my case) and they find out that they’re essentially defined as a bloody poo and have to write that word on a regular basis.
Hilarious!!! I really loved the post. Wish you all the best in choosing a suitable name for the little one on the way 🙂
Reblogged this on Family Matters and commented:
Hysterical post about baby names! NZ is one of the worst offenders apparently…
My husband and I didnt have to go through this at all. It seems that the name chose us way before we decided to have children!
We went to a concert in the village of Anogeia in Crete to celebrate the local Valentine, God of Love (Yiakinthos) and we fell in love with a girls name, Yiakinthi.
It is an ancient Greek name, very rare…My daughter loves it but I sometimes cringe when people have trouble pronouncing it.
OKay i was wondering where the pic of the baby come from! I see it all over the web! That is too cute! I agree some of these name parnets are name their babies don’t make since!
Brilliant! Good effort with the “made-up” names. Hope you don’t mind if I claim “&-Ampersand” for my first born? I think it’ll sound regal with my surname (Cepelak)-Now there’s a mouthful for the little terror 😛
Good luck choosing a name, it can be hard!
My Nieces names are Lily Rose, Isabella Grace, Amielle Claire( pronounced Ami-elle) and Poppy Rose to my other sister.
We havent had kids yet but we have already chosen the names ; Dorian Wesley ( from the story of the guy who never ages because made a deal with the devil)
Norah Rose ( family name) and we can decide on the third name but here are some ones i like – Edalyn ( ed-da-lyn) Evette, Estelle ( E-Stell) , Evaleen
whatever one we pick will have the middle name Milly .. hope its been helpful 🙂
But Dorian Grey committed terrible crimes, murdered people, went mad & killed himself. You want to name your child after this?
just dorian, not the grey part! its also an actors name that i like 🙂
You should see some of the names we used to get in Spain being named after the Saint of the day! the thing is I cannot share some as they are lost in translation. Hope it is not a hot and humid summer!
really entertaining writing 😀
so… a bun in the oven aye?! 🙂
I lived in Hollywood for five years.
I always thought Rehab would have been a ‘terrible baby name’ that would have worked!
Love your writing. Thanx.
I have to mention that in Finland (I don’t know if anybody else has mentioned this, I don’t have time to read all the comments, with two toddlers n’all, sigh), even though there are some rules about what sort of names you can give your children, there are still kids named ‘Yoda’ and ‘Jedi’ running around. Also some American car names too.
Some of my favorite traditional Finnish names, from an English-speaker standpoint are: Into, Unto, and Yrjö (must be the most difficult name to pronounce, I don’t even know if I can describe it, also nowadays a slang word for vomit, unfortunately).
I might have an explanation for “Cuba” – it’s a very popular polish name (i’ts spelled “Kuba”, yes, same as the country, but it’s a short form of Jakub – Jackob), so I guess some people who moved from Poland might use it as a way of connecting with their homeland but still give the baby an “American” name.
(Besides, I don’t quite get it – it’s okay to name a baby Arizona or Paris, but wrong to name it Alaska or Cuba? Why??)
Here you can find a list of terrible “modern” names: http://chantalismus.tumblr.com/
So please be careful. Your baby has to wear its name its whole life! 😉
Haha! 🙂 Brilliant post! I’m afraid I’m one of those people who likes ‘different’ names, but this post made me feel normal!
What I find priceless is when people have funny surnames – my grandmother went to school with a ‘gru-en-baum’ which was spelt, wait for it, green bum!!!
I also used to joke with a teacher at my college saying ‘is your bottom cold miss?’ as her surname was winter bottom. That, quite literally, has come back to bite me in the butt though as my married surname is now shoebottom!
When sneaking some of the companies resources to read this, it’s best that you don’t find it so amusing that keeping the silly grin at bay becomes a difficult task.
Awesome read!
LOOOOL!!!!!
Thoroughly amusing.
Actually had to laugh out loud.. in class!
Particularly liked the “&”.. Like.. X_x Hahaha!!
Nice one, and congrats! 🙂
Best advice I received – give the child a name with which they could be a rock star or a CEO. This did curb my tendency towards sweet names like Molly 🙂 I did know a family though who had 3 girls and their names were Shantal, Suzette and, wait for it, they wanted them all to start with an ‘s’ so picked another word they knew started with an ‘s’ – Shardonnay (yep, like the wine!). Great post and blog and grats on being freshly pressed!
I’m so glad that all these names are forbidden here in Germany! You can be creative, too, but it should sound like a name and you should be able to pronounce it.
That was what I thought. But I fear: If you can proof that a name exists somewhere in the world, you can use it in Germany as well. They did not want to allow Chelsea at first, because it is a placename, but as the amrican president’s daughter was calles like this, it was o. k. in the end.
But in Germany the name alsways has to show the sex, so you would have to name your child & Tom oder & Jenny. 😉 No, symbols, numbers, etc. are not allowed, luckily!
I’m so glad that all these names are forbidden here in Germany! You can be creative, too, but it should at least sound like a name and you should be able to pronounce it.
Great post! Several friends are having babies and I hold my breath when I wait to hear what they’re called, hoping to release a sigh of relief but sometimes releasing a “what”? Some names aren’t ridiculous, like those you list, but are just unattractive and one couple of friends gave their newborn son 2 surnames as first names so now he has 3 surnames!
Like it is always said BABIES ARE MEANT TA BE BABIES and not CORPORATE NAMES
people name them for their styles but what they forget is that once the tag is on CHILD WOULD SUFFER THE DARKEST CORNER of being adressed by the name as well as THE HORRORS OF NICKNAMES being formed on its account!!!!!!!!
I shudder to even think of this feeling
Very funny post- worthy of Freshly Pressed! Congrats!
My kids find it very funny that my first daughter was named Claire because I watched The Cosby Show way back then and thought Claire Huxtabel was awesome. It’s particularly funny because I am now a total TV snob and am lucky if I can name 1 or 2 current shows. Good luck!
Must add my own – as a parent my kids are Dragon, Phoenix and Pallas-Athena – yes, everyone thinks she’s a castle. And no, we didn’t know that Dragon & Phoenix are the royal animal couple of China until we worked there for 3 months – fortunately the Chinese were blown away by this.
As a teacher a couple of the worst were a boy called Bright who simply wasn’t and a girl called Blessing who was anything but. Also a load of Princesses and Lovelys
My husband taught a child called Pongo, mm…
Tis a fraught business baby naming – I’m pleased mine are happy with theirs and show no intention of changing – they like their bit of exotica in this world.
entertaining….
My wife and I are expecting our 3rd– a boy. (We didn’t find the gender of the first two.) We both like the name Wil, until you put it with our last name- Robinson. As in, Wil Robinson from Lost in Space. But then I thought we could give him the middle name of ‘Danger’. Then when people say (in a bad robot voice) ‘Danger, Wil Robinson’, he could say, ‘No, Danger’s my middle name…’
Okay, I said it as a joke, but picking names can be hell. Since she was about 12 my wife wanted to name a daughter Isabelle. I was okay with that, but she changed her mind about a week before the baby was due. There was a mad rush to think of something new.
Good luck. Hope everything goes well.
I used to usher during university graduations, and I remember how everyone applauded when one of the deans called out Balboa, Rocky. Haha!
The worst I’ve heard was from one of my literature professors who once had a student named Circumcision (spoken in Spanish, thir-cum-thi-thion). SHE was born on the day of Christ’s circumcision according to the Catholic calendar. That was just dreadful.
Hilarious!
Literally read every word of it!
My wife has ruled out “Corialanus,” for most of the obvious reasons. She’s also ruled out “Jones,” even though I thought “Jones Jones” sounded distinguished.
As a random note, “La-a” would actually need to be “La-hyphen-a”, because a dash has two horizontal strokes: “–.”
Try the name Gentlemen. Trust me, its shocking!
Really entertaining blog 🙂 and congrats on getting freshly pressed!
A-a-a-a-h, this post made my day! Thank u! 😀
If I’ll have a baby, I would name him Scott. Even cooler than these crazy baby names.
There’s a well known comedian in Australia called Shane Jacobson. He just gave his child the middle name ‘Danger’ so that the little tike can now say of course – “My middle name is Danger”.
Well I thought it was pretty funny anyway!
There’s a *kind* of person, who has to tell people what to do, how to live, and what to name their children. These *kinds* of people would prefer people like me not go to their neighborhood, especially with a hoodie on. And are known to wipe out indigenous peoples for fun.
This is the first post that I have read of yours, and I enjoyed it very much. Its amazing some of the names that people pick for their kids. And like most of these posts I will give you a name that you are sure to love….. Cherish, if she is a girl! Its unique and fun and shows that you love your child very much!
-From Cherish! 😉
I worked at a massage clinic back in high school as a receptionist and a gentleman by the name of Moe made an appointment. His last name was Telsiks. Moe Telsiks. I couldn’t help but say “We’ll leave the light on.” as he walked back to the massage room for his session…like he hadn’t heard that one before.
(I also use to watch a little girl named : Story.
I watch a little girl named:
Kashlee.
A friend actually met someone named La-a. Two more good (or bad) names are Lemonjello & Orangejello, pronounced Le-mon-ji-yo & Or-ahn-ji-yo.
Man, you’re so right. I can’t stand quirky, or pop culture names… being a skinny white kid called Jamal or Beyonce won’t make you cool in school… the play ground is actually the killing ground for cotton-wool wrapped kids.
Oh, and good luck with No.3. You’ve now got enough in your family to start a basketball team.
Maybe you should start a new trend and name the kid MyName, but pronounce it Min-ah-me. Nobody will ever beat the kid up for having a name that sounds like “Mini-me”. I swear.
You’re a great writer, sportsjim81. This was a fun and hilarious read. (Thanks WordPress for freshly pressing this one!)
Just for the record here, my friend (who is in his late twenties) had the ability to choose a middle name when he got his citizenship. He took a poll from everyone he knew and finally decided on my choice of the middle name “&”. It was hysterical and ridiculous but we definitely helped that be a real thing. I’m sorry, and you’re welcome.
I knew a family who named their daughters Mona, & Lisa.
Wow, People really get excited by this topic…
But, I suppose I am posting as well.
My name (given at birth) is Nazli Pronounced Nuzz-Lah.
It is a pretty common name where I was born, but having lived in Canada since I was 2, it has been pretty interesting…
I love having a third grade teacher tell me I was pronouncing my nae wrong and telling me that from now on it was to be pronounced Nazz-Lee…
she was an unfortunate person.
I went by Naz for years, until I realized that I loved my name and reclaimed it when I turned 28. I think that the people who care about me and knowing me will take the time and effort to learn how to pronounce it properly…
But, having said that..
My name has an odd pronunciation due to the fact that the English language lacks the accents of my native language; when people spell names in odd-ball contrived ways simply for the sake of doing so… I just think it is silly and in a way reeks of ..
well, it just is really contrived.
Unique names are great, and they definitely make you stronger.
But, I think whatever you do..try to maybe go for a balanced name, where on is more unique and the other (the middle name) is more conventional…a balance of sorts.
So, the child as they grow into their personality and character have a choice of going by the name they feel fits best for them…
Hey, I was googling to see if others with my name share the same complaints.I have lost count of the number of times my name has been butchered into Nazil, Nazila, Nazia, or worse NAZI (who in their right mind would name their kid Nazi???) I guess you are of Turkic or Persian origin. Like you I have spent about half of my life in the ‘West’ (US now UK and possibly again US) and now use Nazla in unofficial settings-even then people read that as nazal. If I could choose I’d opt out of this name. I also went to elementary school in the US and had teachers refer to me as nazleeee, that however, is nearly not as bad as NAZI. I wish I had a name more easily Westernized like Sebla or Deniz or Alara!
Why?
I believe whole-heartedly that if someone can not take the time to learn my name or even attempt to do so…
Then they are most definitely not worth my time.
Why feel bad about who you are, because of others’ laziness?
N
Great post! I was in a playground a couple of weeks ago with my son when we met d’Artagnan (ie. the fourth Musketeer) and his sister Diesel. I kid you not. Oh, and I once lived next door to a lady who would scream loudly into the street for her cat every evening. THERAPY! THERAPY! Hmmm.. animal names… maybe that’s an idea for another post.
Congratulations!
I’m sure someone else has given this warning already, but be careful with initials as well – make sure that they wouldn’t be embarrassed to have them on their LLBean backpack or something. I know from personal experience as my initials (although lacking the last letter) spell a certain part of the male anatomy. Thanks, Mom and Dad!
I love that you wrote this. I recently finished reading Freakonomics and the last chapter discusses how one of the worst thing you can do as a parent is name your kid an idiotic name. Especially normal names that are incorrectly spelled, because it will show their future employers that your child is most likely from an uneducated and low income family and therefor they are likely to also be ill educated. I am among the children who were named crazy names. Although, “Racy” is cute for a drag racers daughter, I am always asked whether or not my mom was a stripper or in porn… kind of awkward. It’s great to really consider the effects of what a name means to your child for the rest of it’s life. Good luck picking something!
That picture is cray-cray!!! The poor kid looks so mad. Makes me feel bad for givn’ my parents a hard time for ‘Tylon.’ Word Up!
-Tylon Robinson
CCIE, CCVP, MCITP
The picture is hilarious. Good luck to you both!
Wow,
I read the title of the blog and thought I had to comment. Something I rarely do. I always knew I wanted to name my kids unique names but they don’t fall into any of these categories. I also liked the idea of using family names but wanted something that wasn’t mainstream. The funniest thing though is that my middle child is named Cheyney (pronounced just like Chaney). She is very proud of this name and loves that it’s unusual but still “normal”. Love this post! All the best to you and your wife!
P.S.
My Great Grandmother’s name was America…..I like it but glad I went the “strong like an oak tree” route.
Here are some down country names from Tennessee:
–Reevil (his last name was Lee). His friends called him “Greasy”– M.C. (doesn’t stand for anything)– Vestel– Ila (that’s i-L-a, pronounced “EYE-ler”)–Ina (pronounced “EYE-nee”, like “hiney” only not quite)–Leola
My grandmother’s middle name is “Ozark” after her aunt who was born in a covered wagon crossing the Ozarks.
I favor flowy-sounding girl names: Nadia, Elena, Anneli, Sophia, Maria… maybe I’ll use ’em all on one kid. Wouldn’t that be something!
Congrats on being freshly pressed 🙂
Hahaha! My Dad was a teacher and had a student named Female! Pronounced just like you wrote it too. He asked her about it one day and she said that her parents couldn’t decide on a name so the hospital wrote “female” on the birth certificate and they decided to keep it and just change the pronunciation. Ironically, my Dad never even realized her name looked like FEE-male because he was told right away that it was pronounced fe-mall-ee. Luckily my SO and I have had our kid names picked out for years now even though we’re still not even close to reaching that landmark yet. Congrats on FP! Just had that happen to me as well 🙂 this was a great read!
We like unique names in our family. We have Ember and Zander for our “a little different” names. We have some “normal” names too. Josie, Phillip, Nicolas, and Dakota. Our last but not least little man, however, was given the bestest name we could muster up. His full name is Leonidas Alverian Bam Pokorny. Leonidas after the Spartan King. We felt he needed a good strong name to live up to being the youngest of seven HIS, HERS, and OURS kids. He is the only OURS. My fiance’s Grandmother’s name was Alvera. No matter boy or girl he wanted to name the baby after her in some way, hence the Alverian. I could not find this anywhere as a name. I did find out however that it is a Klingon dung-beetle. I chose Bam in honor of my favorite Jackass – Bam Margera. BAM! Is also how I felt when I found out I was pregnant with this child. I was doing the continuous dosing method with my birth control pills. It obviously did not work for me. He is adorable. I love him. People think that we were crazy with the name. But to me, it fits him perfectly!!
I wish it weren’t true, but I met a girl named Cafeteria. Apparently because her mother was so hungry during her pregnancy, she spent all her time in the….cafeteria. This should qualify as child abuse.
Never laughed so hard in my life. Thanks for your blog. I will follow you. I cannot wait for the link so I can put my input for a name.
Whooo! I almost got lost scrolling down all the way! Great post. Wonderful observations. Fantastic sense of humor. It is late. I am a word-smith of sorts myself. Just posted an article and logged out. Landed on the “Just Blogged” page. Yours jumped at me and I am calling it my special delight for the day. I will not make name suggestions, if you don’t mind. Will only say thank you for now. For the pleasure of “meeting” you and for knowing that these three wee people have well thought out names given to them by playful, creative parents.
My mother and I one time wrote out like fifty pages of things our friends shouldn’t name their babies. All tongue and cheek, of course. I found it a few weeks ago. My daughter’s name is in there:
“Caroline: Because that’s Ma on Little House”
The funny thing? She absolutely LOVES having the same name as Ma on Little House!! She knows that is who it is and thinks herself so awesomely cool.
That’s great! A friend and I are working on a similar project, although it’s more focused on successful people with very bizarre names. I personally think something somewhat unique but not totally laughable is the way to go.
http://funnynamesblog.wordpress.com/
This has got to be the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. I hope you are your wife come up with a suitable name for your child if you happen to have a girl.
I heard some very good advice before the birth of my first child. I think this was from a comedian who was speaking about the terrible names people curse their kids with. He said to go to a busy playground and yell out the the name you’re thinking of using. If 5 kids turn around or you feel like an idiot yelling it in public, it’s not a good name. Then and there we decided that Prince Ziggy Zeppelin was not a good choice.
I am a teacher and have seen some names to addthis to the list. I had a student with a 16 letter name that started with a silent K, Volcano, Queen Nile of the Asia Earth, and Princess LaDonna