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anniversary, birthday, children, eating out, family, humor, Jim Chaney, restaurants, The Wordslinger
On Sunday, the wife and I celebrated 6 years of wedded bliss. I’m fairly certain she doesn’t regret her decision and I know she’s loved being a mother for the last 3 years, so that means at least half of my married life has been successful from a “making my wife happy” perspective. If I was a baseball player, I’d be batting .500! That’s Hall Of Fame numbers right there!
Anyway, we had intended on spending an evening, sans kiddos, to celebrate the milestone, but decided to reschedule for the good of the entire family. You see my father celebrated a birthday earlier this month, and as has become tradition in our family, we all go out to dinner to celebrate. Well, with two nurses and a police officer among us, you can imagine it’s difficult to find an evening when everyone is available. Seeing us all together is like a solar eclipse, it’s extremely rare and hurts your eyes to look right at it.
Editor’s note: That joke was meant as self-deprecation and should in no way be considered an accurate assessment of my family’s looks. In fact, I consider us a fairly attractive group. It’s the nose that really holds us back.
Having been parents for over three years now, Jen and I are fully aware of the obstacles surrounding dinner. More accurately, dinner out. More accurately still, dinner out IN PUBLIC. There are three stages to the eating out process. The first is the prep stage; this is when we gather the necessary intelligence, equipment, and tools to adequately prepare for the subsequent stages. We generally start hours in advance if the decision to eat out has been made early enough. We consult a map and determine a reasonable circumference around our neighborhood for a possible destination. The size of said circumference is in direct correlation to the level of attitude and emotion displayed by the children throughout the day.
Once a target establishment has been identified, we gather the supplies necessary to successfully manage whatever scenario we encounter. Inevitably, something that proves to be important (such as bibs, sippy cups, or one of the kids) is forgotten and we’re forced to wing it. Despite knowing that any event involving toddlers can never truly be planned for, the prep stage remains extremely important if you are to have any chance of making it through the night.
Stage two is the arrival/appetizer-to-entree stage, or as I like to call it, the-calm-before-the-storm stage. This stage lulls you into a false sense of security, like a love scene in a horror flick. The characters involved (i.e. the parents) feel like things couldn’t be more perfect, but the viewers (i.e. everyone else at the dinner table) knows something terrible is just moments away. As parents, we tend to fall for this stage every time. Every fiber of our being knows that we are just one green bean away from a total breakdown, but with everything seemingly falling into place, we can’t help but think maybe this time will be different. And so we let Lucy set up that football once again and we go and Charlie Brown the hell out of it…which brings us to stage three.
Stage three is Chernobyl. It’s Three-Mile-Island. It’s the meltdown you knew was coming, but were helpless to stop it. Stage three can occur for several reasons. There’s the “eruption”, as I like to call it, where emotions have been slowly bubbling up to the surface undetected. Then something seemingly insignificant, like a straw falling to the floor, triggers the explosion and all hell breaks loose.
There’s also the poorly timed delivery of food to the table. We’ve all been to restaurants where it takes forever to get your appetizer, and then you’re suddenly bombarded with entrees at the same time. Or the soup/salad arrives quickly, leaving time for a siesta between courses. Either of these scenarios is bad news for a parent. We need a steady stream of sustenance at the table, otherwise we lose the brief attention span of our little ones and you can kiss your relaxing, enjoyable dinner goodbye.
Finally, there’s the “marathon” scenario where you’ve simply chosen an establishment that requires a long, drawn out dinner routine. This is the most disheartening to the parent because no matter how well you planned, and no matter how perfectly that plan is being executed, there’s just no getting around the fact that you can’t keep kids still for more than an hour or so. Think of it as a game of Jenga; you can only pull out so many little wooden blocks before the whole freakin’ thing comes tumbling down.
And that’s where we found ourselves Sunday night, trying desperately to maintain some semblance of order while enjoying a night out with the family. Jake was pouring soup all over himself and trying to climb out of his booster seat like Houdini trying to escape from a straight jacket. Izzy was moving from my mother’s lap to my father’s and back again, all while periodically crying like she had been stood up at the prom.
I guess that’ll teach us to expect a casual dining experience at a Japanese Steakhouse!
With that in mind, here’s a small list of places not to take your kids for a dinner out:
A Dinner Theater: Depending on what show is being put on, you could end up consoling your screaming children or trying to stop them from climbing on stage. Far to many variables to plan for here, I recommend staying away.
Any restaurant rated 4 or 5 stars: Let’s see; you’re probably not going to find a kid’s menu, dinner could take upwards of 2 hours, you may have to dress up which means you’ll have to pack a smock to keep the kiddies clean, you’ll be spending a week’s salary on a meal you’ll likely not get to eat…should I go on?
Any restaurant more than 20 minutes from a safezone: A safezone is a place you can retreat to where your little Sybil can calm down. This could be your own home, the home of a relative that your children adore, or perhaps the local mental hospital. If you dare travel outside the reach of a safezone, you’re on your own!
A Japanese Steakhouse: The meal takes a long time and there’s fire, actual fire, right there in front of you!
6 years of wedded bliss and baby # 3 on the way? james…you don’t mess around. 🙂 Congrats!
Haha, thanks! We move pretty fast in the Chaney house!
Oh boy. Our little one (and only one so far) is just entering this stage. We had our first encounter at a casual dining option, and we were in for it from the second we landed and ice started flying. We made it through a hurried meal but realized we had gotten off easy….this post made me laugh, sure, but I was crying, too….more fun to come, huh? I’m keeping this as notes….along with all the comments! Thanks for the warning.
It’s important to keep laughing, because the only other option is inconsolable weeping. Good luck!
That pretty much sums up my philosophy on life and has definitely been used a lot around here! Thanks!
Hilarious. (And, of course, horrible) Love the disclaimer to family members RE looks. Having recently attended two such family gatherings, I can confidently and with a terrible amount of expertise on the subject tell you that I have nothing to add. The three stages are as real as those post-partum pounds in my pants. And not eating is not the answer.
“post-partum pounds in my pants”, well said! Hilarious comment, thanks!
Small snacks for when the meal is delayed. Miniature figures (NOT small enough to go in the mouth). Two small pads of paper and colouring pencils. Regular exposure to cafe type places in a brunch type situation where they are a bit faster and the kids can get used to sitting nicely and waiting (bwahahahahahaha). And a very large glass of beer/ wine for you and your wife (when she’s not knocked up!).
With our older kids, we used to take them out for brunch every couple of weeks. With the small boys being twins, it’s been a complete nightmare. Now at 5, they’re pretty good. But I still have snacks, toys and pens in my handbag just in case 🙂
And don’t get me started on family meals at home. I can see the value, don’t get me wrong. But it is not very conducive to digestion to get up and down every 30 seconds to fetch something, or spend the time stopping a child from throwing their food and so on.
I remember when my daughter was two. We had a big family dinner with parents and grandparents and brother and sister and their kids. My girl grabbed the straw on her chocolate milk and pulled it forward until the entire thing tipped into her lap. Her face was priceless. My father went nuts, embarrassed as all get out, my bit#h sister in law tsk tsked my parenting skills, my daughter screamed bloody murder. I did what I always do when things go south. I laughed…. And you blog about it! Coping skills are intact. 😀
There’s always somebody there to give you a hard time about it, am I right? Thanks for the comment Julie!
My family members who do not have children never understand why I don’t want to eat at a place 45 minutes from my house or after 7 pm. Thanks for putting all of my thoughts and feelings into words whenever one of these family outings is planned and I feel like I am going to freak out or get left out.
Great point about timing, why can’t people understand that kids go to bed early? Thanks for the comment, perfect!
I don’t have kids, but this was still very, very funny! Love the images of nuclear disaster.
Hugs,
Kathy
I hate to invoke such destructive imagery in a humor post…but it is what it is.
Seems like planning Normandy invasion was easier. Took mother to J steak house – complete disaster. She was coughing and choking and eyes reddened – like eating in a barn on fire. With my kids I brought rope, chains, stun gun and meds. Hammer in carpenter’s belt too.
Stun gun seems a bit much, but I’m certainly not above heavily medicating them. Hold on, there’s a knock at the door…hello Social Services…
I enjoyed your post! As the mom of 5 kids we have been there also. It does get better…as far as restaurants go…with behavior from the kids as they get older. It also gets more expensive once they become teenagers and want adult sized meals,etc. You appreciate the good times once you have gone through the ‘tough’ times!
I guess you take the good with the bad, meaning at least at this age we can get away cheap!
Haha, I remember those days all too well. And there are also the disapproving looks from those sitting around you. Well written!
Oh yes, let’s not forget about all the dirty looks from complete strangers. Thanks for the comment!
Oh man, I laughed out loud at this. Nice work, Wordslinger. My breakdown-having four-year-old would agree with your three stages in their entirety. 😉
4 year old, huh? So it’s not going to magically stop now that my oldest is 3? Crap.