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As you know, in somewhere between 2 and 4 weeks (based on previous baby pushing events) my wife will be going through the most disgustingly beautiful experience known to man; childbirth.  I will be at her side trying, probably unsuccessfully, to not see those things that can never be unseen during the process.  In preparing for the arrival of little “&” (that’s Ampersand for all you inside-the-box folks out there), we’ve found ourselves thinking about the births of our first two munchkins.

Izzy arrived on a cold, rainy day in late April of 2009.  After walking laps around the hospital with Jen to help move the process along, little Iz joined us after a mere 7 hours of total labor time.  Editors Note: The Wordslinger fully understands that any amount of labor time should not be considered mere.  He in no way intended to belittle any woman out there who has gone through the hard work and pain of childbirth.  Please refrain from sending hateful comments his way…his wife will no doubt handle the discipline on this one.

Having caught a cold from walking around in the rain, I medicated myself and promptly slept through the first night with our little one.  The wife continues to remind me of that whenever the opportunity arises.  A cup of coffee later, we were pregnant and prepping for baby #2.  Jake showed up on a relatively mild August afternoon, though having gone through 2 months of summer while pregnant, Jen would probably refer to it as a raging inferno.  This time, from check in to holding our slimy little boy clocked in at just over 3 hours.

If the trend continues, there is the distinct possibility that we could wake up one morning to find little Ampersand under the covers.  I mean I love The Godfather, but I’d prefer not to reenact the “horse head scene“.  So with just about 4 weeks to go (at the most), we are beginning to make the necessary arrangements so that we are as prepared as possible when that first contraction hits.  There can be no waiting around, packing a bag, or doing anything other than driving straight to the hospital or else I’ll be looking for a Groupon for a great deal on car interior detailing.

As part of my prep, I want to make sure that you guys are in good hands during my absence.  That’s right, The Wordslinger will be taking a break from blogging (as well as sleeping and anything else not related to changing diapers and rocking a crying baby) when our new arrival debuts.  But it wouldn’t be very polite of me to leave you all in the lurch while I’m gone, so I’ve come up with an idea; a month’s worth of guest posts.

So I’m officially opening up my inbox to anyone out there who would like to blog-nap The Wordslinger for a week.  If you have a blog, that’s great, I’ll be more than happy to throw a bunch of links in there for you.  If you’re not a blogger, no worries, it doesn’t mean you can’t sling words with the best of ’em.

I’d like to get at least 4 (maybe 5) guest slingers lined up for posting upon my departure.  Since I don’t know exactly when that will be, those who volunteer will be contacted via email to discuss the specifics of when their post will air.  Guidelines you ask?  Guidelines Schmidelines.  You can write about whatever you want!  Just remember the audience (this is a family friendly blog, so keep it couth…you know, as opposed to uncouth.)

What do you get as a guest slinger?  Wow loyal reader, really showing your true colors here, huh?  The satisfaction of helping out a new Dad isn’t enough for you?  I’ll take that look of dissatisfaction as a no.  Ok, well here’s what I can offer you; a large, contractually obligated audience that generally leaves positive comments, as well as the gratitude of a soon-to-be-exhausted Wordslinger.  If that’s not enough for you, how bout a virtual fist bump to go along with it?

Now this is a first come first serve scenario and I’d like to have the contributors locked in (if not the actual articles) prior to going live with this little experiment, so please don’t hesitate to contact me.  Why am I hearing crickets chirping?  Weird.  Anyway, feel free to leave a comment about it, but you have to actually email me if you want to be considered.  And while you’re at it, hop over to my baby pool and enter your guesses for the big event, there’s still time to enter!

Thanks to all for your support and I’ll talk to you next week.  Same slingin’ time, same slingin’ channel.