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How cute are we?

My life got a lot better the day I met my wife. I’m talking like better-to-the-38th-power kind of improvement here. I’d like to think I’ve reciprocated to some extent, but let’s be realistic; she got the short end of the stick in this deal. I do take comfort however, in knowing that I provide important services such as taking out the trash and restoring a lost internet connection, which otherwise she would have to do herself. I think these rather insignificant actions make us basically even-steven.

In the nine years we’ve been together, I have yet to come up with an ironclad reason for why she’s stuck around. If I had to guess, it would probably be one of the following:

A) She made a really bad bet with someone and lost.

B) My parents are paying her because they always wanted grandkids and my track record with women prior to her left them feeling they had no other choice.


C) My devilish good looks, wit, charm, and personality have put a spell on her and she is powerless against it.

While I continue to hope the answer is “C”, I think we can all agree that “A” and “B” seem more likely. Despite what recent studies have shown regarding the decline of marriages in the US, I still think being married is great. You get tax breaks and you get to say that you make over $100,000 a year (even though that’s obviously a combined number and, if you’re like me, you’re only really responsible for less than half of it). Oh, and you get a companion for the rest of your life. And I’m not talking about your first dog, Mr. Buggles, who you had stuffed and now resides next to your Lay-Z-Boy…that’s just weird dude.

No, I’m talking about a real live person who you can share dreams, desires, hopes, and fears with. Sounds pretty great, right? Well it sure does to me, which is why I married my wife. Well that and because she is so much better looking than I am, so whenever we go out in public I’m like, “Yeah, she’s with me.” The truth is, there are lots of reasons that make my wife awesome. In fact, here are just a few of them now.

She’s Supermom. On days when she’s alone with the kids, she gets like 1,000 things done around the house. On days when I am alone with the kids, I consider it a victory when all three of us make it out of our pajamas. Seriously, I don’t know how she does it. Check out this post for a better understanding of this phenomenon.

She loves my family, and my family loves her. Often times, spouses don’t always get along with the in-laws and vice-versa. I am blessed to be in the lucky minority of those who do not have this problem. My family adores my wife and we all enjoy spending time together. She also fits in well, as her vocal volume is capable of reaching levels consistent with that of a jet engine or an Italian family dinner table.

She’s a genius. The reason I know she must be a genius is because she’s always right. If someone is right all the time, doesn’t that mean they must know everything? Ergo…a genius. The reason I know she is right all the time is because she shows me every time we disagree on something. It’s funny because sometimes I’m almost 100% sure I’m right, but then the more we talk about it, the more I realize I’m wrong. Thanks goodness I have such a smart wife.

She buys me stuff when she goes to the grocery store. My wife is an incredible shopper. Sometimes when she’s on her way home from the store, she’ll call me at work and have me try to guess how much she saved with her coupons and club cards; it’s always impressive. But despite her frugality, she always manages to pick me up a little something she knows I like. Sometimes it’s a favorite ice cream flavor or a box of Fudge Stripe cookies (little chocolaty pieces of heaven made by elves). Little things like that make me happy and she knows it.

She tells me she loves me everyday. I shouldn’t make generalizations, but I’m going to make one here. I think after people have been together for a long time (“a long time” meaning different things for different people), they find themselves drifting away from the PDAs and “ugh, get a room!” moments that were so prevalent early in their relationships. One of the things I love most about our relationship is that we never let a day go by without saying “I love you”. Whether it’s right before I leave the house in the morning, in a text message at some point during the day, or at the end of a phone call to check in, she always tells me she loves me. How great is that!

She makes me laugh. Whether it’s her attempt at a song that she obviously doesn’t know the words to or the little dance she does to warm herself up when she’s chilly (aptly named “the chilly dance”), my wife can make me laugh like no other. Sometimes all it takes is an exchanged glance from across the room because we both overheard the wrong part of a conversation and there’s no doubt we’re both thinking the same thing. Laughter is an important part of our lives and she always gives me a good chuckle.

She watches football with me. Like any other warm-blooded, American male, I enjoy watching football on Sundays…and Monday nights…and sometimes Thursday nights too. While some wives may complain and argue with their husbands about this practice, my wife will actually watch games with me. In fact, she’s even been boning up on her football knowledge recently. Last week, as we sat together watching the Ravens game, quarterback Joe Flacco faked a handoff to running back Ray Rice. Without prompting, Jen stood up and yelled, “play fake!”. And just like that, I fell in love with her all over again.

She lets me sleep in sometimes on the weekends. Maybe it was the whole “daylight savings” thing, but something happened about a month or so ago and now our munchkins, Iz and The Jakester, tend to wake up in the 6 o’clock hour instead of the 7 o’clock hour. Unless we decide to arbitrarily change our clocks back, which seems like it might cause several other problems, I don’t see this trend changing anytime soon. Lately, we’ve been bringing the rugrats in bed with us so they can watch cartoons while we get a few extra minutes of not-actually-sleeping sleep. Once the kids have had enough of the comforts of our bed however, it’s time to officially get up. Sometimes, out of the goodness of her heart (either that or she’s stockpiling good deeds to use against me at a later date), Jen will take the kids downstairs while I grab some extra slumber. Again, how great is that!

She’s slightly shorter than me. I’m not exactly sure when I developed this little idiosyncrasy, but for as long as I can remember, I’ve been a little intimidated by tall women. Considering I was only about 5 foot nothing in high school, the crop of girls I felt comfortable dating was small to say the least. I never pictured myself with anyone taller than me and thankfully, Jen is the perfect fit. There’s just something about looking at pictures and seeing the woman towering over her companion. I don’t know, maybe I’m just weird. Anyone else feel this way? Guys? Anyone?

She supports everything I do. When I decided I no longer wanted a career in retail, she was excited for me to start down a new path. When I told her, out of the blue, that I wanted to run a marathon, she helped me with my training and told me she knew I could do it. When I started this blog, and quickly fell in love with writing again, she encouraged me and became the inspiration for so much of what I write. She supports me 100% and if I could be just half as good to her as she is to me, I know I’d be doing my part too.

I could go on and on but there’s a good chance you’re too busy vomiting from the sappiness of this post to read any further. Let me just end by saying that my wife is awesome and I’m the luckiest guy in the world.